So I'm suicidal, yet I don't wanna die so badly as too let someone else take my life. I live in a dangerous area and I know how to fight for my life. Because it's mine no one takes it away.........only I can do that. Selfish? I don't know.... but it will happen that I have to fight for my very life someday, so I'm completely prepared. I will not let anyone else murder me. I'm just not that desparate to die. hmy: Even in kill or be killed situations, I'm ready should one arise. Is this a bit strange?