I sit and think of nothing and do nothing. On my days off from work I just sit here in my room staring at this screen with no one to talk to and nothing really on my mind. I think I have very little brain activity most of the time. I am the epitome of stupid. At work I just stand there and stare, at nothing in particular, just stare, in silence. When I drive, I drive in silence, no music, no phone calls; I just sit there in silence, no words, just quiet thoughts. Nights are the loneliest and days are degrading. I am not even sure what worth as a human I have right now, as I am lower than shit. I don’t understand people, I don’t understand men, I don’t understand women, I don’t understand what’s on the surface, I don’t understand the exaggerations, I don’t understand the fakeness. What I do understand is I am disliked and never thought of. At work and school I haven’t made one friend even though I pathetically attempted to. No one wants to be my friend, I guess they know I am a weird loser. And no girl in her right mind would touch me with a ten foot pole. I am ugly both inside and out, I am as ugly as they come. All I know and feel is hate and anger. All I feel is contempt. I no longer feel sad, I haven’t felt sad in ages. I just feel rage and pain, I can’t be around people for too long, or I start to feel intense feelings. I don’t understand what the point of life is, everyone seems to be saying the same thing, and it’s quite boring. No one knows me, no one speaks to me, I feel like a “thing” that is shunned by beautiful human beings. I am angry, at people, at the world, for not accepting me, for not wanting me, I don’t want to be part of the world anymore, but I don’t know what I would do here, make everyone’s life miserable? Just because I am a piece of shit I want others to feel bad as well? Because honestly I am far far gone, I am lonely, but it’s a different kind of lonely, it’s the loneliness when you are in a bad and wrong place where people rarely go to, the bottom of everything, where the lowest go.