No one notices

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sp76, Jun 4, 2012.

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  1. sp76

    sp76 Member

    You know its crazy when one can asks friends and family what keeps them living and not taking their lives, and no one seems to put two and two together, and realize your asking this because your suicidal. I had only one person give a true thought out answer, why all others gave half no thought out answers. Yeah I am suicidal, like that most days, just most days I have not thought out that plan in detail. I sit here typing right now, while most are sleeping. My night terrors keep my mind jumping, so I stay awake so as not to go to these places. I am tired of putting on a show that all is well with me, when my insides are going nuts. I just wish for all this craziness to end. Probably just rambled enough crap, that once again I will be left by the wayside.
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You won't be left by the wayside here. I'm really sorry for what you're going through; I've never had night terrors, but I know they've got to be so horrible that you try to do everything to keep from going there.

    Here if you need anything or want to talk.
     
  3. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni



    This is because society does not have enough awareness or education on this issue. Schools teach about not drinking and driving drunk, but more teens die from suicide than from drunk driving related. Why is it that everyone is afraid to make this topic more open so that people can become educated on signs, prevention, and treatment? There are groups out there working to change that.

    I hope that you get through your situations. Life IS worth living.
     
  4. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    Sometimes I think people don't catch on to the root behind loaded questions like that because they care about you, and in so caring, do not ever want to believe that you might be asking that because you yourself have suicidal thoughts. With a topic like this you kinda can't pussy foot around it. If you feel it is important to communicate this issue to your family and friends, you pretty much have to tell them straight out.

    If you don't want to tell your family, that's alright too. You can talk with us here. You can call crisis line and speak to the kind folks who work there over the phone. You can speak to your doctor too if you want more than just verbal help.

    Take care and be safe, okay?
     
  5. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    do you usually have nightmares and this is why you don't want to go to bed?
     
  6. sp76

    sp76 Member

    I have severe PTSD and yeah I usually have night terrors...so little sleep does not help with already suicidal thoughts.
     
  7. sp76

    sp76 Member

    Just wishing to be free...tried so many methods and never found that fix all cure. Maybe the only way to find that freedom is through death. My only regret will be leaving others to feel my pain. I just hope that they will be able to see I was just looking to find peace. Enough said...
     
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    No hun they wont see that they will only feel the sadness inside You can find peace hun you reach out to hospital to your doc reach out and get support to heal ok to get rid of those night terrors hun I use to have them hun but with therapy they are lessening some hugs
     
  9. sp76

    sp76 Member

    The doctor will want to try meds and gone that path and yeah they help you go to sleep, but I need help staying asleep...maybe taking extra pills tonight will help...
     
  10. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Hope you're holding up OK tonight, and that you manage to get some sleep!
     
  11. DarkLordVader

    DarkLordVader Well-Known Member

    you wanna hear pathetic? i posted multiple inks on facebook that talked about suicide and also how to take your life. not one of the people on my list gave a shit enough to respond, so should i just delete those people? personally i wish there was a way to record me leaving this world and putting it on facebook for all to see, maybe then those douche bags would wake up
     
  12. sp76

    sp76 Member

    Yeah I just sent a message last night to close friends saying "tired of life", and got no responses...I think people need to be taught the signs of suicide just as much as all the stuff people learn in school about warning signs of drug and alcohol use. I think that with myself maybe it would be better if I just get over and take my life, it really seems no one would miss me anyway. Hell I work in the mental health field and none of my so called close coworkers, even see the signs. Whatever, I have tried many methods to not take my life, this site I think was a last chance for me to find something to hang onto. I have told people that I do not really wish for death as much as I look for some kind of peace of mind. I relieve myself of life as a last chance to end the hellish pain I continue to go through. Carbie at least I now know that I am not the only one not noticed or forgotten by the wayside. If this work shift I am starting back today is as bad a last shift, then it will be my last shift on this earth. I am tired of being used and getting nothing. How hard is it to say thanks to your employees, I guess too hard. Very few people in this world these days know how to truly appreciate others. I just hope that others will find peace in this forum...
     
  13. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I hope you continue to reach out here. Others have found help and support here, and you can too. I know it feels like nobody in yoru personal life is listening or hearing you, that they're not seeing the signs. But here, we have an idea of what you're going through. I hope you'll give us the chance to try and help you, or at least offer you support and a safe place to talk and vent.
     
  14. sp76

    sp76 Member

    What does it take to get a break in this life. Job sucks and then I get home and try to sleep only to wake up from horrible night terrors. I just would like one day with a little peace...why are some of us doomed it seems with a horrible existence.
     
  15. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Facebook's new suicide prevention policies will definitely make people not want to comment on anything suicide related (they freeze accounts if they detect suicide discussion). This could account, at least in part, to the lack of response relating to said comments.
     
  16. darkgirlforever

    darkgirlforever Active Member

    I hope you did ok last night. And yeah i think it is crazy that you can ask friends and family why they keep living and they can't or won't give you a straight thought out answer. And i do agree that society does not have enough education on the subject. However i wanted to remind you of the possibility that maybe they did realize you were suicidal and that maybe they just didn't know how to talk about it with you. Since suicidal feelings are such an uncomfortable subject to talk about some people use the avoidance strategy and pretend that these feelings don't exist in their loved ones even when the signs are all over the place. If you feel suicidal and want to talk to your family direct is the best way to go so there is no room for confusion or denial on their part. I wish you the best and if you need to talk you can message me. We are all here for you and you won't be ignored or left by the wayside.
     
  17. sp76

    sp76 Member

    Okay it prevents talk of suicide on facebook but a lot of my friends on facebook also have a direct number to me and also a email to me...I think most people just think if I do not talk about it, nothing will happen. Its amazing to see how many soldiers in this last year have already succeded in suicide...when will everyone catch on, most likely it will be too late for most of us, attempting to deal with life.
     
  18. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Well there is truth in what you've said. The largest issue with suicide prevention is that people within the general public are not aware of what are, to me, alarming rates of suicide oriented incidents. Education and awareness are the key to putting this issue more on the forefront of understanding and so that people do take it more seriously when they hear of or feel that someone they know may be contemplating it.

    To note, I was on ABC television (Austin affiliate) discussing suicide prevention last night. They gave me a really nice segment. My goal is to reach out and give more awareness because I am a fighting member of this same community you all are in. This topic is not something that people who are depressed should feel they need to hide away with, or something that they can only come anonymously to forums like this to discuss; this is a very good forum and a great resource - but people need to take action outside of this as well. When you tell friends that you are having issues, there should be more alarm, compassion, acceptance and understanding. I think that the real root cause of this not being the case is the lack of information out there that informs people that this is a very serious, real, and important issue. I am sure that everyone posting on this site is doing so, whether they realize it or not, because they want some sort of a response and/or assistance. We, as a society, need to stop ignoring this topic and start treating it as vitally as we would if a friend were to say, "I think I may have cancer," or "I might be diabetic." People who are depressed are not crazy, they are suffering in the same way someone with pneumonia or cancer or Alzheimer's or Parkinson's or any other ailment is.
     
  19. sp76

    sp76 Member

    Its a shame that the way most get more involved is after so many suicides occuring. The military is now realizing that its something to discuss more freely because of the alarming number of suicides now happening. I just wish there was a cure for my issues, other than death, but I am starting to realize the only way out for some of us, is death.
     
  20. sp76

    sp76 Member

    I have been keeping a bullet for many years now with the word peace carved into the side...I guess its time to find some peace. I have tried other ways and that has failed. So I guess the only way away from my hell is through that shiney piece of metal.
     
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