You know its crazy when one can asks friends and family what keeps them living and not taking their lives, and no one seems to put two and two together, and realize your asking this because your suicidal. I had only one person give a true thought out answer, why all others gave half no thought out answers. Yeah I am suicidal, like that most days, just most days I have not thought out that plan in detail. I sit here typing right now, while most are sleeping. My night terrors keep my mind jumping, so I stay awake so as not to go to these places. I am tired of putting on a show that all is well with me, when my insides are going nuts. I just wish for all this craziness to end. Probably just rambled enough crap, that once again I will be left by the wayside.