No one to really talk to.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by mindscribe, Dec 6, 2006.

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  1. mindscribe

    mindscribe Member

    Its funny how i gotta go to an internet board to unload all my insecurities.
    Funny how no one really gives a fuck wheither i live or die.
    And i know its nothin personal, but i know each and every one of u who read this dont really give 2 shits whether i live or die.
    lets be honest with ourselves.
    If i was holdin out for universal popularity, yeah i know...
    but...what if u have....no one..?
    What if...everyone i talk to....either ridicules me...tries to "punk" me...and walk all over me...knowing that im a weak peice of dog shit...that couldnt fight my way out of a wet paper bag...or ignore me...
    im tired of seeing people better than me.
    "no one is better than anybody"
    ok then well
    explain why I am ALWAYS the one being picked on and bullied
    and im fuckin
    20 YEARS OLD....?
    cuz..im a weak piece of shit...
    ...nothin to nobody.....not even to myself...

    i always get it rubbed in my face about how i "get no booty"...cuz i aint had a girl in like...2 years...
    and people are always, if not clowning me in front of girls, bringing girls around and doing all their shit in front of my face...trying to make me mad n jealous...that someone loves them...and i just have to watch...
    shit EVERYWHERE AROUND ME all the time about/for couples....everyone seems to have somebody except me...
    prolly...no...more than likely...because girls dont wanna get with a weak,
    lame dood like me...
    smh.....lets be honest....
    i say weird shit to cover up the fact that i usually have nothing interesting to say.....and i just say stupid shit n put my foot in my mouth all the time because im a retard and dont know how to speak properly....


    and i like this gurl sooo much...who is nice enough to me...
    but its like...every time i see her it makes me wish i was taller...stronger...smarter.....better-looking...not afraid of conflict so i could protect her.......and wishing that WHEREVER I GO....i wasnt always the loser....
    just...makes me wish i was a better man for her...


    i mean she prolly wouldnt like me after knowin me after a while...
    cuz thats how it usually is...people think im some normal guy at first
    and i guess somewhere along the line i do some shit that i aint aware of
    and people just start treatin me like a lil nerd fag that everyone can talk to any old way....
    maybe they just detect how much a loser i am....

    but its like...everyone around here knows how pitiful i am...and that just makes me feel 100 times more fuckin pitiful and dog shitty....and they just all fuck with me...
    i hear this ALL THE TIME...
    "oh u got beat up by so n so u soft ass muh fucka hahahahahahaha u cant get no girl hahahahahaha im younger than u and have my own place and money and a girl and u live with your mom still like a loser hahahahahahahaha"

    and...i cant tell my insecurities or feelings to ANYONE....cuz it'd get thrown back in my face and brought up in front of everyone....
    i mean....half the time i tell someone my real insecurities n THEY start hatin me n treatin me like a loser....


    sometimes man...i just feel so worthless and weak...like i jus dont stack up to anyone else...overshadowed by the whole world....
    so i just lay in my bed for days....
    too cowardly to kill myself....
    too cowardly to go out in the world just to be ridiculed and shunned...and beat up...
    and just think about how much of a lil weak peice of nothing i am...and all the events that happen that make me feel like this...
     
  2. Allo..

    Allo.. Well-Known Member

    hey, its okay.. sometimes its like were alone, and all we have to do is reach out to the people hidden amugnst us.. i just wanted you to know that your welcome here, and if you feel its where you belong, we do as well.. i hope you can find what you need and you can get stronger and maybe even one day be this girl..

    Take care, Ally _%
     
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