I'll give you some background to what my life was like. In school, I was horrendously physically bullied. I fortunately only bear one scar that is not that noticable from that period. After school (16) I drifted from one low paid poor job to another. I had a few relationships but either they just plain didn't work (peacefully might I add) or it was never a relationship in the first place.
So there I was, 25, stuck in a rubbish job in a petrol station, earning minimum wage, severely depressed, really didn't see my life going anywhere. Then Sarah started working there when she started uni that year. We clicked instantly without even realising it, and before we knew it we were in the most real relationship I have ever even heard of. I loved her so much I would have done, and did do anything. She also did anything for me. It was truly the first time in my life I had actually been happy, no thoughts of suicide, not even feeling down at any point. I knew she was the one, the only person to make me feel this way.
We moved in together, made plans for years to come, we got engaged. I had even started uni to give her a future (and myself at the very back of my mind).
I got meningitis last january, and since then I had struggled to do much, tiredness being a major drawback. I still did everything I could for Sarah, telling her I loved her.
Then on the 28th of december I went insane, and said I couldn't be with her any more. I don't know why I flipped but I told her to move out. I still don't know why I flipped. Since then I've tried to make contact, say I want to talk. But all she's said is fuck off, I wasted two years of my life without my friends because of you, you wasted my money, my life, my everything. She's called me a psychopath. She has even said that I should kill myself, remove myself from the gene pool. Her friends have laughed over the phone, she called up in the middle of a threesome.
Yet I still love her, I would still take her back. I don't want to be without her. I can't even go to uni because all I can think of is Sarah.
I'm not sure how to finish this post.
So there I was, 25, stuck in a rubbish job in a petrol station, earning minimum wage, severely depressed, really didn't see my life going anywhere. Then Sarah started working there when she started uni that year. We clicked instantly without even realising it, and before we knew it we were in the most real relationship I have ever even heard of. I loved her so much I would have done, and did do anything. She also did anything for me. It was truly the first time in my life I had actually been happy, no thoughts of suicide, not even feeling down at any point. I knew she was the one, the only person to make me feel this way.
We moved in together, made plans for years to come, we got engaged. I had even started uni to give her a future (and myself at the very back of my mind).
I got meningitis last january, and since then I had struggled to do much, tiredness being a major drawback. I still did everything I could for Sarah, telling her I loved her.
Then on the 28th of december I went insane, and said I couldn't be with her any more. I don't know why I flipped but I told her to move out. I still don't know why I flipped. Since then I've tried to make contact, say I want to talk. But all she's said is fuck off, I wasted two years of my life without my friends because of you, you wasted my money, my life, my everything. She's called me a psychopath. She has even said that I should kill myself, remove myself from the gene pool. Her friends have laughed over the phone, she called up in the middle of a threesome.
Yet I still love her, I would still take her back. I don't want to be without her. I can't even go to uni because all I can think of is Sarah.
I'm not sure how to finish this post.