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No one understands what it's like to go through this...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by lizzyqwerty, Feb 25, 2013.

  1. lizzyqwerty

    lizzyqwerty Active Member

    I'm depressed, I've attempted suicide 3 times, and I self harm.

    No one seems to understand what it's like to go through it, in real life, that is. They don't understand what it's like for me to cry non stop and not be able to stop crying until I cut. They don't understand the thoughts that run through my head telling me how worthless, idiotic, stupid, dumb, unloved, etc. I am. They don't understand what it's like in those moments where I am cutting, how it relieves me as bad as it sounds, etc. They don't understand how hard it is to fight those thoughts of suicide and stay alive sometimes, even though I have promised myself never to try to kill myself again. It's kind of like I am alone in my struggles in real life, but only have online to come to for support.. but i long for someone to see how much I am struggling, and just hug me, and let me cry until I calm down, just like in the movie thirteen.
  2. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you feel alone like this. But just so you know, I can relate to your feelings of cutting. Even though it may hurt physically, it numbs the emotional hurt. So what it's worth, you're not alone, but I hope things start to get better for you so you won't have to cut and hurt so much. Sorry if I said that wrong.
  3. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I so relate to what you're saying. Two years ago, I used to cry everyday, every night, it was so bad and I was in so much pain, cutting helped, it relieved a bit but it wasn't enough...I take meds that help me a lot, it doesn't remove everything but it helps...

    not many people understand...especially the self harming...so hang in there...there are a lot of people here who understand though...
  4. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Well, I understand what you are going through, because I have had similar experiences. People say I'm too negative and to just stop thinking that way, but it's not that easy. I'm sorry you don't have great support in real life, but I hope you will be able to find people you can talk to about this and who will be supportive. But I hope posting your feelings here helps, because there are a lot of people who can relate to you.