No one understands

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Petal, Apr 30, 2012.

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  1. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    My boyfriend gets mad when I cry, my family don't care when I'm down, my psych doesn't listen when I need him to. No one understands the pain and suffering I'm going through at the moment. I have no life, everyday is the same. Get up, clean, listen to music, take meds, go to bed. My boyfriend won't even go to the cinema with me. My ex friend won't leave me alone, she's harassing and harassing me with phone calls. I don't need this crap at this time in my life. I don't know why I'm still here. I wish the overdose I took in April 2011 when I ended up in ICU had killed me. I'm so sick of life, I'm not going to attempt suicide though, I'm just having suicidal thoughts. I give up on attempting suicide, nothing will kill me. Help! :sad:
     
  2. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Well honey, life is given to us for a reason, otherwise it would be so totally meaningless we would all try to get out of it. sorry it's feeling crap for you right now, but, we do have the power to change things around by how we choose to think about it. Good on you for saying no to opting out - there is always an alternative, although it's not easy but it's better. The thing to say to yourself is: "I AM going to get through this - i may not know how, but others have found a way through and so I can. There are answers out there for me, I just need more insight" - and coach your way to making your mind your best friend :)

    To start with, journalling is a good idea, to get all your feelings down on paper - it helps to get them in perspective. I posted yesterday somewhere a journalling plan given to me by a counsellor, I'll PM it to you if you'd like?
     
  3. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    :hug: to you, Lynnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!

    Why do we go through this sort of stuff. It seems never ending. And I'm sorry to say that it doesn't get much easier. As for your SO, get rid of him. I mean he should want to go places with you. And s for you ex friend, tell her that she is an 'ex' friend, and to not call you anymore, or you will file harassment charges against her.
     
  4. FrainBart

    FrainBart Staff Alumni

    I'm glad it didnt kill you last year, and I am glad that its only thoughts you are having at the moment. I believe boyfriends are on a completely different plannet, they dont really understand how we are, or even try and help. They expect everything to be peachy perfect, but it never is, Have you considered getting a different psych? Maybe he just isnt the right person for you. They are meant to help and listen, but if you dont feel you are getting the help you need, maybe its time for a different one?

    With your ex friend, is there no way to block or ignore them, or if that wont work, could you not get a new number, and only give it out to people who wont pass it on?

    I know this isnt much use, but I do help you feel happier soon, massive :hug: to you.
     
  5. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I'm sorry it feels like you have no life and those around you aren't supportive towards you. It is hard to know why we are here, why we keep trying to go through each day when it feels like for each step forward, we go back two. Sometimes, though, a day or many days come along that make it worth it. For me, knowing that others here have their own hurts and pains yet still are compassionate and supportive towards others, is an amazing thing I'm lucky to be part of. I wonder if you could do something out of the ordinary, something you would enjoy - whatever that would be - and just for you? :hug: Take care.
     
  6. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Often times when we feel that we have no purpose, we allow our mind to wander. Without goals and activities to occupy (exercise) the mind, one can start to feeling down. You say that you get up, clean, listen to music, take meds, go to bed. Do you have any other interests, goals or activities? Do you have a pet (dog, cat, bird, etc.)? Caring for a pet gives some people a feeling of purpose. What about school or occupation/job? Even volunteering can be rewarding and an exercise for the mind. How about some hobbies? Do you play any musical instruments? Collect anything?

    If you are using a cell phone, you should be able to block your ex friend's phone number so that it won't ring through to you. You don't need anyone giving you negative vibes. :)
     
  7. D1979

    D1979 Active Member

    I too tried to commit suicide almost a year ago in March of 2011 and wound up in the hospital for a bit more than a week. With regards to me, it's like everything I ever loved and lived for in life has been permanently taken away. That's why I believe my depression is permanent and not temporary like so many other people's. I cannot stand when I see most other people around me acting all happy and living life to the fullest when I can no longer do so. The summer is coming and everyone is looking forward to it, yet I hate when I see all of the sunshine and warmth and people out and about because I know I cannot be as happy as them ever again. I really wish God would just let me die in my sleep already because I absolutely despise everything about my life, which is permanently ruined.
     
  8. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    CocaCola- It pains me to hear that you don't have a better support system around you. I think that you are a very interesting person, and I wish that I knew someone like you in my town, so that I could go to the cinema with them! That would be too much fun (if such a thing is possible); But alas, there is nobody here as cool as you, and I don't know what to do, but accept that sad fact, and move on with my boring life..:) but enough about me: let's get back to you! If there's anything I can do--just give me a sign (though I can't read many minds), and I'm there for you, ready to help you out in any way I can... I am something of a screwball, so I'm sure you could, if nothing else, look-laugh at-& mock me from afar! HA.:) now how fun does that sound? No matter what, I think that you've displayed tremendous Heart by carrying on through this adversity, and I for one, admire you. I'm only a keyboard click or two away. See you later. And hopefully soon. -Mr. B!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 30, 2012
  9. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry, sometimes you need to scream out what you feel for people to pay attention...
     
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Thank you all for such loving compassionate replies. I really do appreciate it. I'm feeling a bit better today. And no, I don't have any hobbies other than the internet,listening to music and trying to help others. I don't collect anything either. Misterbegone - thanks so much, that means a lot to me :) You're very sweet.

    My next psych appointment is on Monday, I will try and get my psychiatrist to prescribe me anti depressants again, I don't know why he hasn't already, I know they can take a while to work, so I just plan to stay safe until then.
     
  11. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    That's excellent news! I'm very happy for you! I hope the medications work out well!
     
  12. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Lynnie...sorry I just saw this...it seems that when we need to be understood the most, that people get us the least...sometimes, I think it is because they 'need' us to be a certain way, play a certain role, and when we do not act in that way, they are at a loss to change how they treat us...loved ones dealing with our sadness can sometimes create such a rupture in the relationship...I know this first hand...so sorry you are going through this but glad you are feeling better...please feel free to text me if I am not online, as you know I care
     
  13. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Sorry to hear about all of this...people get mad when I cry too...or they mock me...it's not a very nice thing to do to someone. Maybe you can find another psych if this one isn't listening to you...you deserve that much. I can relate to how you're feeling...my friends don't listen or they make a joke out of my feelings...asking what's wrong now like I'm a big drama queen...I'm not...I just have a lot of shit to deal with. I don't know why people like to make others feel bad, but I wish they wouldn't do that. Maybe there is a way to block your friend from contact? There's nothing wrong with your hobbies, I have the same ones...and maybe it seems like you aren't doing much right now, but you can do whatever you want in life...whatever makes you happy. I probably didn't make much sense in my reply, but I just want you to know that you aren't alone, and I know how you're feeling, and that I hope things will get better for you soon.
     
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