No one wants to know

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Unregistered-doncha no, Oct 22, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. I talk about my suicidal feelings - a lot. Maybe too much cos I find that people close to me don't want to know. It might be that they're fed up with me going on and maybe they cut themselves off cos it's hard to deal with, I don't know, but I find talking about it helps me not to do it. So now I feel that no one gives a shit and maybe I should just do it after all? Has anyone else had this experience or is it just my family and friends who don't give a shit?
  2. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    I knew someone who was constantly in and out of hospital and her mum would make comments such as "If you're going to kill yourself then why don't you do it properly" etc. And so she did.

    I remember I felt very angry towards her mum, until we met up to discuss the funeral and then I simply couldn't be angry with her. It was so obvious from the way she spoke just how much she loved and missed her daughter. I guess it's not an easy situation to deal with, but that doesn't mean people don't care.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 22, 2007
  3. Hazel

    Hazel SF & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    Seeing this written here, it is easy to understand why you would feel this way. Friends and family do give a shit, don't doubt that for a minute. It's not that they don't want to know how you are feeling but remember feeling and doing are very different.
    No-one wants you to do something, everyone wants you to feel better.
    I don't have a problem talking to friends about their suicidal feelings and I do care deeply about those close to me, however sometimes a friend will leave me with innuendos which I find difficult to cope with, I lie awake at night thinking about them, perhaps they don't answer the phone.... I worry myself into a state detrimental to my own health.
    I wonder if something similar is happening with your family and friends?
  4. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    maybe if / cos you talk about it soo much it's gotten old for them. They most likely dont know anything about mental illness and therefore dont take you seriously, you needs a professional in the field.
  5. that's how i feel sometimes. i have a select handful of friends who i turn to for help whenever times get tough for me. but i'm starting to feel like the topic has gotten too old for them.

    sometimes i feel like they don't care anymore and they're tired of hearing about it. i know i need to talk to someone about how i feel (i am getting professional help, but it's not the same as talking to a friend), but getting this feeling from my friends, it turns me off. i don't want to burden them anymore with the same old stuff. so i end up turning on myself. and it just makes me feel worse.

    but i know how you feel.
  6. I agree.... actions speak louder than words, after all.

    Hazel, 'innuendo' must be terrible for you!
  7. Hazel

    Hazel SF & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    Well, actually yes, because you are left in limbo, knowing a friend has the plan and the where with all to end her life and constantly living with the fear that today could be the day.
    Would you not agree that, that actually is quite difficult, no?
  8. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    yes i do agree hun and have proably put people in that position to at times when things have got so bad, i think that sometimes through the darkness we sometimes fail to recognise the pressure it can inflict on others, not that we mean to or want to purely just cant see beyond that moment. Regarding family and friends i agree with Hazel they do want to support u but are probably living in fear that u could possibly end your life one day, and just dont know what to do to stop it, they are probably feeling hepless. Do u see a councellor as this may help u all in the long run, u becouse u can express ur feelings to a professional and your family becouse they may feel you re receiving the support you deserve right now.
    You take care hun
    Hazel u to hun pm anytime if u want to chat
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 23, 2007
  9. Hazel

    Hazel SF & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    Btw doncha no, just because I find a situation difficult and take a step back, it in no way reflects a change in my feelings towards my friend.

    I love her to bits, I don't ever want to lose her, we laugh together, she's good for me and I hope that I am good for her.
  10. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    Im sure u are Hazel and im sure she values our frienship very much good friends are hard to fid, friends that understand as u do are near on impossible, shes luck to have u hun

  11. But taking a step back at a time she might need you to be steadfast probably isn't that helpful, especially if she finds she's been let down many times before. I'm sure you try your best but knowing that would probably make her feel more like shit, doncha think?

    As to me, I have no one who isn't sick and tired of me. Can you imagine how THAT feels?
  12. Puddytat

    Puddytat Well-Known Member

    people will eventually shut off because there is only so much they can do to try to help you and if nothing is sinking in they will get frustrated. its just a survival mechanism and you gotta be greatful that they have that because if they didnt they would also probably go insane and how does that help? would that make you feel any better? no! so dont be too hard on them if they start cutting you off. its painful for them, i know its painful to you too, its lonely and you feel like nobody cares but they do. there just comes a time when you need to look at yourself and make te effort from within, no matter how daunting it seems. it can be done.
  13. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    I think if people are trying to help you it's really important that they get positive feedback otherwise they just feel frustrated and useless. I really hope that you tell your friends that talking to them makes you feel better. People need to know that. They also need to know that you care about them too.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.