I don't know what it is about me, but no matter what people just get disinterested. Never reply. I must be boring. Or people jsut dislike me for no reason. I think it's sort of funny too, to think that I have no friends, no family to talk about this. I try and help people. Sometimes I succeed. But when I absolutely NEED help back, the give a small try like a small nudge against a brick wall, and state they tried, and pretty much walk away. Whenever I meet someone new, I will talk to them after a while doing my best to make them think I am funny or interesting, but never pushing into lies. Always, ALWAYS never talk to me again. This just depresses me x10 more than I can handle. Maybe because I look a lot younger than I actually am. I don't know. All I know is that my social connection isn't there. May not seem like a big deal to anyone. I think I have a phobia of being alone. I hate being alone where others can't help but be alone. It's a subtle pain but very deep type of pain that never seems to let your thoughts go too far from thinking about it. Maybe it's because I sound like an ignorant asshole. idk. I think I'll stop posting on this site and anywhere else. I am not attention seeking but when no one even acknowledges me it doesn't make me mad. I don't get mad unless I'm in physical pain, for emotional pain I just get very depressed. Sleep is the only thing that heals. Eventually I'll sleep forever, maybe.