No one will listen

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#1
I don't know what it is about me, but no matter what people just get disinterested. Never reply. I must be boring. Or people jsut dislike me for no reason. I think it's sort of funny too, to think that I have no friends, no family to talk about this. I try and help people. Sometimes I succeed. But when I absolutely NEED help back, the give a small try like a small nudge against a brick wall, and state they tried, and pretty much walk away. Whenever I meet someone new, I will talk to them after a while doing my best to make them think I am funny or interesting, but never pushing into lies. Always, ALWAYS never talk to me again. This just depresses me x10 more than I can handle. Maybe because I look a lot younger than I actually am. I don't know. All I know is that my social connection isn't there.


May not seem like a big deal to anyone. I think I have a phobia of being alone. I hate being alone where others can't help but be alone. It's a subtle pain but very deep type of pain that never seems to let your thoughts go too far from thinking about it.

Maybe it's because I sound like an ignorant asshole. idk. I think I'll stop posting on this site and anywhere else. I am not attention seeking but when no one even acknowledges me it doesn't make me mad. I don't get mad unless I'm in physical pain, for emotional pain I just get very depressed. Sleep is the only thing that heals.

Eventually I'll sleep forever, maybe.
 
#2
When it comes to online forums - not everyone is available all the time - this you may well be aware of.

Also, on a site such as this one, there are vulnerable people all over the place, who may not know what to say to give support and advice, or may be in a bad way themselves. Sometimes you have to be patient.

I can relate to the issue that people seem to get bored of me too, but I realise I will never make others decisions for them to like me, and have trained myself to have a 'don't care' attitude to those who do give the impression of ignorance. I wonder if there is anything in your life that has developed this? I know for me that my school change (i'm in the UK and went from primary to secondary where I'd gone from knowing most of my year to knowing no-one, having to start from scratch again), at the age of 11, has more than likely contributed to the way I am socially.

As for the phobia of being alone, it might be worth checking with a doctor if it is possible. They may have a better in depth knowledge of it.
 
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