I don't know where to start. My desire to live is fading as the days go by. I have suffered from depression pretty much all my life. Sometimes I just wish they would throw me in a padded room for the rest of my life. All the so called friends I helped when they needed it are no where to be found. I guess you really do find out who your friends are when you're at the bottom which is where I am. Im not doing this for attention or pity I just cant see any other way right now. The only thing stopping me is my own cowardice but maybe that's because I am a coward, a failure, and whatever else could be added to the list. I feel I am a good person. I try to help people whenever I can but Im at the end of my rope and losing my grip fast. Im just tired of being tired. Sorry if Im rambling but my mind is all over the place. I dont think Im gonna make it to tomorrow. I just felt like I needed to get this out.