No One Would Stop Me 2

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Forgotten_Man, Aug 4, 2010.

  1. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I am not particularly angry or upset at anything. Really all I am trying to accomplish is just dumping my brain into bits.... ok not bits... bytes... you guys know what I mean.

    Anyway, lots has happened in the past... well couple of days. I do not know.... I have not quite recovered from my crisis last weekend. Which is odd, so I have decided that I am going to try my first pathetic attempt at killing myself. Chances are it will fail. I am just trying to drink myself to death. I cannot do shots... so I will likely fail. Though I cannot promise I won't try another method while I am trashed.

    I have it all planned out. Really this is a cry for help from someone around me. If I am lucky, I will die anyway. You know so many suicides are just a cry for help, it is a shame that this will work. I dropped a hint to my sister that I am suicidal in my last email to her. I am going to put "Hammering myself into the ground" as my facebook status. See if she gets the message... or anyone for that matter. Not that the net will reach me. Sorry I want someone to stop me in real life. I know it is selfish, and I am sorry guys... With any luck I will wake up on the floor or in my chair or in my bed. Even better I will wake up in the hospital. Or best of all I will actually be dead.

    I am waiting till Saturday to do this. I am taking a personal day on Friday, to write up my suicide notes and instructions on how to inform the various forums I am on. As well as to wrap up a few last minute chores. I will also be online. Checking on the forums and being a lazy asshole.

    To be honest I have no idea why I am doing this. I just feel like whatever broke this past weekend broke worse than I thought. Don' t know...
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Okay instead of writing suicidal notes call your doctor and crisis team and say something wrong and that you need help. Take responsibility for you and don't hurt your sister by killing yourself god just pick up the dam phone and say you are suicdal you need help go to emergancy and tell themto help you quit waisting energy of trying to kill yourself use that energy to get help
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I am not trying to hurt my sister... that was just a passing thought. I told her it would be a couple of years.

    Sadly it feels like doing this is the only way I am going to get over anything.
  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Don't do this FM....
    Ring someone and tell them what's happening and you need it your sister or a crisis line...
    Listen to Violet...she knows what it will be like for your sister if you die....

    I understand what it's like to be crying out for help and no-one listens...I did the same thing and it blew up in my face.... better if you get some proffessional help.....instead of writing notes on Friday get yourself off to the nearest hospital and tell them you want to die.....then you will get the help you need..

    Please don't go hurting yourself many people will be affected if you do....your friends on here included..
  5. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    My sisters and I were never really close. My sister is only opening up to me because she wants to look like a good family member.. and so she can keep her free tech support.

    This is the only way I can help myself. Right now going to a crisis line or a hospital would only keep me alive and make me worse off.

    :i'm sorry:
  6. PollyAnna

    PollyAnna Account Closed

    I'd stop you If I knew you in real life.Please don't do this! Take it from someone who had a relationship with with you(even though it was online), that you're a wonderful guy who has so much to offer! You're sweet, Intresting, warm,funny, honest,talented, trustworthy,reliable, smart and not to mention you're special. These are the type of of traits girls look for In guys, and I'd like to see you share those with your next girlfriend. Nobody said you weren't going to ever get a girlfriend, or a better life. The fact that you're working at a better life ensues that you will have one!There's someone around the corner looking for you.Don't cut off before they discover you! Love comes unexpectedly. Whatever you're going through right now Is a test, which means it'll eventually end. There are most definitely people in this world who love you and would stand by you, like me for one.
  7. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I hope you are ok FM and have changed your mind about what you had planned..
    It's Saturday here so Im not sure what day it is for you..please let us know if you are ok..
  8. xXxRNBxXx

    xXxRNBxXx Senior member

    i hope your ok too, please pm me im always here to talk hun xx
  9. loser

    loser Well-Known Member

    You are in a very confused state and what Violet and the others have said is right. This would be too difficult for your sister to cope with because in fact family members are too close. You do need to get professional help. You are ill. It is not your fault. You have had lot of pressure and no one is immune to this sort of breakdown. Part of you realizes that.
    Let that part of you get the help so you can have your breakdown in safety and recover.
  10. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @Cutiewithabooty: A test... hmmm... I guess I could call this a test too... I don't know... sorry to worry you hun. However, it has been the only thing I can think about for the past couple of days.

    @IV2010: Well.. I am posting this on Saturday technically. It was friday here when you posted to the board. I have not changed my mind.

    @loser: What is the point of breaking down if it cannot be destructive? If I go to a safe place whenever I break down I will just keep breaking down.
  11. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    :awww: :blub:

    It makes me sad to know you feel like that because I know how it feels too..

    I hope you don't do it....
  12. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    You know it is funny I have a nervous fear in my stomach. I do not know why... almost like I should not go through with this. Almost like Obama scared to die... like I have no resolve to do anything but bitch and moan. God I am such a wuss :blub: I am not going to let the fear win though... I have to beat my fear in something...
  13. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I think I am going to use this thread to record, what might be my last day alive.

    I will say there is nothing like a good workout to rebuild your resolve to end it all. Looking around the class at how much stronger and better looking than me everyone is I had more than enough motivation to just kill myself to help them not see the eye sore that is my face.
  14. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    It is funny how a nice little nap can weaken my resolve. As putting up my facade to ward off my roommate and deal with being around him. I wonder... I wonder..... how much will I actually drink tonight.
  15. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Looking around the class at how much stronger and better looking than me everyone is I had more than enough motivation to just kill myself to help them not see the eye sore that is my face.
    I also know how that feels FM but you must be ok to look at as you've had girlfriends before.....and when you find the one for you she will love you no matter what...don't let that one encounter with a broken relationship destroy you....
    You're worth more than that...
  16. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    :mad: Stupid Roommate and not leaving so I can start drinking. Of all the fucking weekends he has to be home on a Saturday.

    @IV2010: :lol!: Plural... no singluar... if you can call it that
  17. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    :( Damn it... why does my roommate have to be here. I just want to drink myself into a coma.. :( I want to do it alone...
  18. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Everyone does not need to worry. My roommate was here and I could not posion myself as I wanted too... so I am here for at least another week.
  19. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member


    It wasn't meant to be....
    i'm pleased about that FM if you're not.
    I hope next week you'll feel different about the drinking...
  20. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Maybe.. I still want to get drunk... Maybe just not as drunk.