I wonder how long it takes for <Mod Edit:Music:Mehods> I have a car, a large car, in my garage. I have no one to call no one who cares. I could call my ex. However, in the time it takes her to get to finish being fucked and to actually check her phone I would be close to death. I could call a suicide hotline... yet I do not want too. What will they do for me? I could call my mom, however, she is 4 hours away. I have no idea where my roommate is, however, I doubt he would hear is phone. Right now I sit in the dark so I cannot see the keys to that car. So I cannot see the garage door opener. So I cannot see anything but they screen to this computer. I want to die so very badly. Even now my mind says grab the keys. Even now my mind says no one wants you. No one knows where I live no one knows me. It would be as if I just vanished. In fact I doubt I would be discovered for days. Maybe even weeks, hell given my roommates want to give my privacy it might even be a month. After all I just paid the rent. I want to die... I cannot see my life getting any better. No matter how hard I look no matter how much I lie. I only see darkness and death at 30. Why wait another 5 years? Why not do it now? It will only be a matter of time.... I am trying to stay strong... however... darkness envelops me. What can I do, who will stop me? I can only damage my eyes with this LCD screen.... that is all I can do to stop myself... even then.... my mind wants to die more and more with each passing second. Who will stop me? Who will help me fix my wrongs? Lets hope I fall asleep right here with my computer in my lap. Maybe then this will pass. Or at least I will have a harder time sneaking out to do it.