No One Would Stop Me

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Forgotten_Man, Aug 1, 2010.

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  1. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I wonder how long it takes for <Mod Edit:Music:Mehods>

    I have a car, a large car, in my garage. I have no one to call no one who cares. I could call my ex. However, in the time it takes her to get to finish being fucked and to actually check her phone I would be close to death. I could call a suicide hotline... yet I do not want too. What will they do for me? I could call my mom, however, she is 4 hours away. I have no idea where my roommate is, however, I doubt he would hear is phone.

    Right now I sit in the dark so I cannot see the keys to that car. So I cannot see the garage door opener. So I cannot see anything but they screen to this computer. I want to die so very badly. Even now my mind says grab the keys. Even now my mind says no one wants you. No one knows where I live no one knows me. It would be as if I just vanished. In fact I doubt I would be discovered for days. Maybe even weeks, hell given my roommates want to give my privacy it might even be a month. After all I just paid the rent.

    I want to die... I cannot see my life getting any better. No matter how hard I look no matter how much I lie. I only see darkness and death at 30. Why wait another 5 years? Why not do it now? It will only be a matter of time.... I am trying to stay strong... however... darkness envelops me.

    What can I do, who will stop me? I can only damage my eyes with this LCD screen.... that is all I can do to stop myself... even then.... my mind wants to die more and more with each passing second.

    Who will stop me? Who will help me fix my wrongs? Lets hope I fall asleep right here with my computer in my lap. Maybe then this will pass. Or at least I will have a harder time sneaking out to do it.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 1, 2010
  2. PollyAnna

    PollyAnna Account Closed

    I would stop you If I could because I really CARE about you. I'm crying for u right now ;( omg, sweetheart! :( I believe that you've made real progress and that you can change your life. You have time to change your life! Before 30, your suicidal thoughts will go away. Honestly! Just because you're not getting what you want now, doesn't mean you won't ever! You deserve a way more happier life sweety, and you will get It.You're one of the most admirable people I've ever known. Please don't end your precious life♥You just need to appreciate your life more to keep going. I'll help you!!!
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 1, 2010
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Hey FM..I'm sad to hear you feel this bad...don't do it though....this feeling will pass...

    2 weeks ago I was where you are now (different method) and if the police hadn't stopped me I would be gone.

    I got some new meds and although it's not a cure all I feel more able to cope..

    I think I remember you don't have meds or therapy?...

    Now is the time to get some proffessional help..ASAP..

    call a crisis line or get yourself off to ER....

    If you have a mother then think of how her life will be destroyed if you take yours...

    I don't want you to go and think you would be sorely missed here too....
  4. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @IV2010: Right now every second feels like an eternity... I don't know... no police would stop me. I would never come out and say I am going to kil myself to anyone in real life. I would expect them to know what I mean.

    I don't know... I am weak....
  5. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    You aren't weak are strong enough to resist the urge so keep fighting it...

    the urge does pass...

    the reason it passed for me was that the police called in and so by the time they left me the urge had gone...

    It's not weak to get someone to talk to or get yourself out of there and to ER where you can get the help you deserve..
  6. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I can't call the police..... I do not want to get arrested... I do not want to go to the ER and be thrown in a psych ward. Even if I get help I have already ruined my life by getting such labels..

    There is no ER near here either... I would be too tempted to cause an accident while driving.
  7. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    My (estranged)family called the police who wanted someone to sit with me till the urge passed...since I have no-one they called an ambulance and I had to go to ER where I had psyche services assess me....they didn't admit me...but continued outpatient services....had to see my GP and go back on my pills as well....

    you could call emergency(is it 911 ) and tell them how you feel and can't drive and go from there..

    please get some help..
  8. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    Who will stop me? Who will help me fix my wrongs? I believe God will,pray. I will pray for you. You are not beyond forgiveness. Ask for it. You are still young and a whole life waits for you. I hope you see that and make small steps to getting better and pray. If you do I truly believe your lifw will be transformed. Love to you!!!!
  9. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Hi all, I managed to fall asleep... I am not feeling too much better, however, I am still here. Sorry for scaring everyone.
  10. xXxRNBxXx

    xXxRNBxXx Senior member

    :hug: im glad your still here hun. if you ever wanna talk just pm me xx
  11. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Oh I'm so so glad to hear you're still here FM....

    obviously my boring ranting helped then...:happyno:

  12. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    hey glad you came here okay keep coming here and talk then okay until feeling passes okay. Crisis line will do the same just talk until you feel better you won't get thrown into psych lock up Ihope you can get a hold of your doctor okay or someone to help get you help to keep the feelings away. glad you are still here with us
  13. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Thanks.. I do not know what to say.
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