My family is disgusted and disappointed in me. All of my friends are sick of listening to me. They tell me to just be happy. I've considered suicide sense I was 13. I am in college now, and I've never felt worse. I take meds and I see a therapist, but they don't help. The only things that make me happy are thinking of ways to hurt myself physically and mentally. I think of overdosing mostly. I just want to feel high and slip away. This feeling is addictive. My story is too f*d up to explain. I'm tired. I don't want to wait anymore for someone to understand. I've tried reaching out, but no one ever stays. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I've tried everything. I feel like the most selfish and disgusting person to have ever lived. No one answers anymore. I keep holding on because my mother would be sad if I died. That's the only reason; it seems like less and less of a good one every day.