My life has ground to a massive halt. The assembly line conveyor belt switched off. I have no idea when or how it will start up again. I went to University, left home, had a half good life, enjoyed a lot of it, wasn't depressed, at least not consistently. I have been back home for 3 months, I cannot find a job, I am lonely, I have no friends here, I have no life, I have lost everything I had built at University. I get up, turn my laptop on, hope for news on a job in the morning, get none, spend the rest of my time waiting for the day to end. I've got no hope. I don't see the big red button to restart production being pressed. My back up plan fell through, I got rejected for a basic unskilled job that was supposed to be money to earn waiting for a career. I haven't told my parents yet. I am alone, no friends, no freedom. I now find myself looking back at what I had at university and it brings a great sinking feeling in my heart. What do I have now? I don't see the point in carrying on to live like this. There is no opportunity here. My introverted personality, past experiences and demands prevent the basic oh volunteer, join a club blah blah from happening. I don't know why I bothered posting because I cannot help myself so any advice is useless, I don't have the ability to act on it, not alone, not whilst in these surroundings, this comfort, this disease. I try to reach out to old friends from uni over fb chat or txt, I sometimes drop hints at family, all I get from everyone is the "patience" patter. It is patronising and unhelpful to the way I feel now. My ex goes on rants that end up making me feel worse about myself or we get into an arguement because our opinions on this differ. No one understands me and I am lost, even more alone.