No point in going further

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Rosenrot, Mar 3, 2008.

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  1. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    So first off, I'm diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. It's a disorder, classed in the Autism spectrum, consisting of a complete lack of social skills and emotional development.

    I have lived my entire life with but only one true friend. He no longer talks to me. Other than that, I have truly had no friends, and I can't see myself ever making any. I don't know how to talk to people, I don't know how to make people laugh, feel better, or want to keep listening, or anything. I can't do anything right socially, I will probably never get a good job because I will fuck up every job interview. I'm going to be stuck at the theater my entire life. I have no ambitions for life, I just want to work at costco operating a forklift. I'll wake up, go to work, go home, eat, sleep. I'm going to lead an incredibly boring, dull life with no friends and nothing to look forward to.

    I'm interested in nothing, the video games I used to love are now boring, the sports I used to love are no longer interesting (i used to be an amazing skiier, now I just stare blankly as I go downhill) TV is not worth watching, the music I listen to is getting old. My life is entirely run by depression, all I think about is suicide and dieing. I have a serious plan, a reason to execute it, and I'm pretty damn sure of my success.

    This isn't a I'm going to slightly damage my wrist and overdose on my dad's sleeping medicene, this is seriously wanting to die, having a serious plan, and needing some FUCKING help and needing it now. All medicene is a complete and utter failure and only makes me feel worse.

    I will never be happy, I will never have friends, I will never have a good job, I will never have anyone there for me, and I will never love doing the things I used to love doing again.
  2. mortdesinos

    mortdesinos Well-Known Member

    "There is a general impression that Asperger's syndrome carries with it superior intelligence and a tendency to become very interested in and preoccupied with a particular subject. Often this preoccupation leads to a specific career at which the adult is very successful. At younger ages, one might see the child being a bit more rigid and apprehensive about changes or about adhering to routines. This can lead to a consideration of OCD but it is not the same phenomenon

    Many of the weaknesses can be remediated with specific types of therapy aimed at teaching social and pragmatic skills. Anxiety leading to significant rigidity can be also treated medically. Although it is harder, adults with Asperger's can have relationships, families, happy and productive lives."

    There is hope :)
  3. Dreamer uk

    Dreamer uk Well-Known Member


    You dont really know the above sentence is true unless you hang about and wait to see what life has for you. You still have some hope for the future.

    I'm pretty sure I have an autism spectrum disorder, but I've never been diagnosed. I've always had difficulty in social situations with unfamiliar people, I just feel really uncomfortable. I also have difficulty making eye contact. I prefer doing things I've done before so I know there won't be any unfamiliar situations. I make silly mistakes and end up in a panic. I've got myself stuck in buildings a couple times by going through a wrong door trying to get out. I've always been good at learning things, I asked my Mom if I was advanced for my age as a toddler and she told me she took me to the doctors because my language was delayed behind other children of my age and they told her I might have some learning difficulties. Well, I just ended up with social difficulties.

    I have found the antidepressants have been a help to me.

    I hope things get better for you soon.

    Take care
  4. downnout

    downnout Well-Known Member

    Rosenrot, I've been diagnosed as borderline Asperger's too. I know how much the whole 'social ineptitude' thing sucks. (Though I'm a woman -- I'm sure society makes it even harder for men.) I'm sorry that you feel so isolated at the moment, but don't give up. I'm sure you're a very intelligent person with a lot to contribute to the world.
  5. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    Bah, I'm feeling in a good mood. I don't know why I even posted this. I was feeling pretty damn low last night.

    Thanks for the inputs, though.
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