So first off, I'm diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. It's a disorder, classed in the Autism spectrum, consisting of a complete lack of social skills and emotional development. I have lived my entire life with but only one true friend. He no longer talks to me. Other than that, I have truly had no friends, and I can't see myself ever making any. I don't know how to talk to people, I don't know how to make people laugh, feel better, or want to keep listening, or anything. I can't do anything right socially, I will probably never get a good job because I will fuck up every job interview. I'm going to be stuck at the theater my entire life. I have no ambitions for life, I just want to work at costco operating a forklift. I'll wake up, go to work, go home, eat, sleep. I'm going to lead an incredibly boring, dull life with no friends and nothing to look forward to. I'm interested in nothing, the video games I used to love are now boring, the sports I used to love are no longer interesting (i used to be an amazing skiier, now I just stare blankly as I go downhill) TV is not worth watching, the music I listen to is getting old. My life is entirely run by depression, all I think about is suicide and dieing. I have a serious plan, a reason to execute it, and I'm pretty damn sure of my success. This isn't a I'm going to slightly damage my wrist and overdose on my dad's sleeping medicene, this is seriously wanting to die, having a serious plan, and needing some FUCKING help and needing it now. All medicene is a complete and utter failure and only makes me feel worse. I will never be happy, I will never have friends, I will never have a good job, I will never have anyone there for me, and I will never love doing the things I used to love doing again.