is there really a point to this. i'm going to die anyway, what difference does it make if i die at a young age or naturally at an old age. im not going to live the rest of my life the way i feel every day. it will never stop. if we're all supposed to have purpose in life, what if my purpose is just to be a number on list of successful or failed suicide attempts. what if my reason for being on this planet and existing is just to be part of the group of people who kill themselves?