Its maddening, i have no reason to feel the way i do. I have for the most part had a perfectly normal life, yeah i got hell from my siblings and a few others but that happens when your the youngest of five kids ya know. I read all the posts i can and comment when i feel i can help a little or maybe i just feel the need to at least try and i realize that i have a great life. Ive never seen anybody die never had a close friend die(although he did watch a little girl get blown up), never really been abused or raped/molested, but yet i still think i should die. I feel there is no point for me to live all i can do is fuck it up, had i kept the same pace throughout high school that i did in the first semester of my freshman year i would have graduated in the top five of my class, but i had to fuck it up cuz i thought i had it so bad. Maybe ive just programed myself to have a bad life. Anyway i cant figure out as to why i feel this way maybe you can help.