I have no point to go on living, no one likes me, seriously no one. I have no friends at all and all anyone does is pretend to be my friend, unknowing that I can see past the guise, or take the piss out of me. (that means to make fun of for anyone outside the UK) I can't see myself doing anything with my life or there being any point to me living, I don't have any talent or real intelligence. All I do is look in the mirror and see an ugly, awkward boy who will never be anything like anyone else. I see someone so ugly that they don't deserve to be acknowledged by anyone around them. People are right not to be my friend because I reckon I'd be a horrible friend. If no one wants to be my friend then why should I socialise with anyone? My family is a wreck, I hate my dad because of how he insults me and sees himself as a person of authority although he's done nothing to build a relationship or warrant respect. My mum favours every other child she's had over me because she knows I'll just take that and not complain. My brother treats me like shit, as does my older sister. All I ever think about is how frustrating it is that I can't look down on them crying and realising that they were too late. (Because I'm an atheist and believe in eternal nothingness after death) I recently started going out with (dating) a girl named Zara, she's a lovely person and the only truly likeable person I can think of on this planet. I despise everyone and everything. I don't want to leave her but she is showing signs of becoming annoyed at my attitude and personality (why wouldn't she?) and I'm hoping she will see sense and leave me in at least a month. School is a heaving pile of shit I have to shovel everyday, the people there are all idiots and no one there is being themselves. Everyone puts on a mask (me included) so that they can fit in with they're group/get in a better group/ stay with their group. It sickens me. The world is sick and I'm no doctor, I don't see myself fit to stay in the world as I am not worthy of life. Now after reading that, I want to die even more, this is good because the last time I tried (no one found out or knew) I wasn't concentrating and was genuinely having doubts as I wanted to continue education because I like learning and felt that at the point I felt I knew enough to be satisfied (i.e, now) that I would try as hard as I could to die. Therefore, if I'm as sad as I can be, there's next to no percentage chance of failure. I'm sure the world wont miss another gawky 14 year old nerd.