Not sure what to do now? After surviving one incident a couple of years ago, I find myself looking at another impossible situation. Sayings are cliche for a reason "the more things change the more they stay the same" I'm losing my grip here, I hate this brick wall feeling. Like everything would just be better if you closed your eyes forever, let the blackness swallow you. I'm tired of fighting it, I'm never going to beat death at this game. For now sleep will work, and even if it's just a brief respite, at least I can dream. "Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly, if birds fly over the rainbow, why? oh why? Can't I?"