hello everyone. im new to this sf thing, so let me start off with a little explanation of my situation. ive been really bummed out lately. for a few reasons really. one being i live with my family still and everyone in the house(including myself) is an addict. of one thing or the other we are all. all of our addictive personalities colliding on a daily basis is nerve racking as you could imagine. my brother is the biggest offender though. now since this kids been alive hes been a bitter soul. theres no way around. hes just doesnt see the glass half full. i accept that. my fathers the same way so i understand. but he has such an anger problem its insane. hes untreated bipolar, and very much so. he treats my parents like theyre garbage, and i used to be safe since i was his older brother, but not anymore. almost on a daily basis he gets in near physical fights with both my parents and threatens suicide and moving out constantly. after years of this im starting to kinda get wore down. i just cant take his shit anymore. seriously. im being as patient as i can be but after a number of years you get wore down. also both me and my father lost our jobs around the same time so were in danger of losing our house, my mother is on a number of different medicines that we cant afford, and just all this on top of everything else is gettin me down. haha jeez i could go on for days it seems. but another issue is im very down on myself. i beat up on myself just about all day over just about everything. i didnt use to do it too bad up until about a year ago. it seems like ive lost all my confidence. i dont know if its the fact im a sabatoge master, and have fucked almost anything good ive had going the past 3 years up. or is it drugs? well ive got some of my story out there..