I don't understand why I hate myself so much. I don't understand why I feel more comfortable in failure than in success. I don't know why I go into work everyday expecting to be fired, spend all day just sure my staff hates me and come home every night to lament over and over all the stupid things I said and did during the day. I know my dad loves me, but I'm sure if we weren't related he would try to avoid me as his weird neighbor down the street. I'm positive my next door neighbors are only nice to me out of a social need to be. I feel like I can't do anything right. Not professionally, not socially and not artistically. Why do I feel like this? I'm fairly certain all this stuff is just in my head, but I can't shake it. GAH!!!! *sigh* Maybe today will be my lucky day and a large meteor will finally land on my head.