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No, really...what the hell is wrong with me?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by FordPrefect42, Jun 19, 2014.

  1. FordPrefect42

    FordPrefect42 Member

    I don't understand why I hate myself so much. I don't understand why I feel more comfortable in failure than in success. I don't know why I go into work everyday expecting to be fired, spend all day just sure my staff hates me and come home every night to lament over and over all the stupid things I said and did during the day. I know my dad loves me, but I'm sure if we weren't related he would try to avoid me as his weird neighbor down the street. I'm positive my next door neighbors are only nice to me out of a social need to be. I feel like I can't do anything right. Not professionally, not socially and not artistically.

    Why do I feel like this? I'm fairly certain all this stuff is just in my head, but I can't shake it.



    Maybe today will be my lucky day and a large meteor will finally land on my head.
  2. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    I understand the bit were you say you say feel more comfortable with failure than success, if I am at work and someone says well done great work, I expect to be told of and found out hours later. I think it's anxiety stressed related. Not of course saying this is true for you.

    I guess when we are down we are very berating of what we do and the people we have contact with, questioning every if what and why, I don't know if you have ever tried CBT therapy it can help with dealing with every day thought processes and explore why your mind thinks how it does.

    Do you find anything helps you feel better? I hope you do start to see your own value and well please be gentle on yourself

    Take care

  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    To me, it sounds like a self esteem issue, like perfect melancholy has already mentioned CBT. I have heard great things about it and works wonders for many.
    This sentence really struck out at me;

    every night to lament over and over all the stupid things I said and did during the day.

    To be honest I think a lot of people do that , you know say things not thinking properly and spur of the moment etc.. It's not a bad thing, its who you are! Also, I do that...it used to bother me but doesn't anymore :)