No regrets

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Annes, Mar 6, 2013.

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  1. Annes

    Annes Guest

    And so I did it again. I cut... Only this time I don't want to feel guilt about it. I won't regret the huge scar that one day I would have....
    I sit here, while my head spin, tears mix with this red ... and I am relief, I got control of something in this stupid thing you call life.
    I am ok now. I did it.
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    This is so very sad...I am hoping you find other strategies as you are way too precious to be hurt (or hurting)
     
  3. PureBlueLight

    PureBlueLight Well-Known Member

    Why do you cut yourself?
     
  4. Annes

    Annes Guest

    I am noet sure I can put it in words, but I will try.
    When I cut I feel relieved, it helps me feel better about all this crap happening in my life. When I do it, is like something changes in me, and I feel better.
    A lot of times I don't think I can take it anymore, then I cut and go on to see another day. In the other hand, I can ¨check out¨ any time I want to, by going
    a little deeper ... Ithat gives me control of something, when I have no control at all of what happens in my life.
     
  5. DepletedOne

    DepletedOne Member

    Pain is real and it's very honest. Pain doesn't lie. I know causing self pain can be like having a conversation with honesty.

    But it's not.

    It seems to bring a short-lived clarity of living in the moment. However, since it fades, it's not real clarity. That perceived clarity is the lie.

    You are beautiful. Destroying the beauty that you have doesn't make things better or more beautiful –*and you can make things beautiful around you. Making things more beautiful does bring joy. Always. Always.
     
  6. PureBlueLight

    PureBlueLight Well-Known Member

    Well it's not normal for someone to cut herself.
    You have control over it and you feel relieved, but for how long? It's no better than taking pills. I can't take it either, yet i don't inflict physical pain on myself, because the mental pain is already too much.
    What will happen when you go too deep? :dispirited:
    Isn't there anyone close to you who can help? Have you gone to a hospital?
     
  7. Annes

    Annes Guest

    lol Is not normal for any of us to be here feeling the way we do. We all should be living happy lifes, smiling with our friends and families !
    Is not normal for someone to die because they are alone ! What that hell is normal anyway's ?
    What happens if I go too deep ? lol are u 4 real ? How about I try it then I tell you ?
     
  8. PureBlueLight

    PureBlueLight Well-Known Member

    Are you amused with your suffering? Of course i'm for real, i'm worried about you!
     
  9. Annes

    Annes Guest

    Deep down I don't think is funny. But I try to laugh about it sometimes, expecially when I am at a breaking point, so I won't cry.
    Have you ever laughed with tears rolling down your face ?
     
  10. PureBlueLight

    PureBlueLight Well-Known Member

    I spent 3 years and 9 months without crying, until last week. I've cried laughing only of something funny, not feeling horrible. I wish i could help with more than just words.
     
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