No "relationship"

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by InnerStrength, Jan 2, 2009.

  1. InnerStrength

    InnerStrength Well-Known Member

    I've recently realized the magnitude of pathetic-ness in my life right now (did that make sense?) I've NEVER been in an intimate relationship, been told i'm attractive but I don't believe it. I act like a terrified idiot around girls. Doubt that'll change anytime soon. Quite honestly I don't see the point in life. Some people are just failures (srry if that is judgemental), and honestly I think I am one of them. I mean, why would I continue living if I am "less" than anybody else? And don't say because of "family" they have/ have had relationships, they don't know what it is like to be this alone.

    People will think this is self-pity, but this viewpoint of mine seems pragmatic. Very few people change their personalities, etc. I don't understand what is waiting for me?
  2. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Latley i noticed many people keep saying thay wount find relationships
    and all that, so here is my story.
    I am 23 years old, i had my first relations when i was about 20 years old
    and it lasted for 1 week. Then i had another relationship when i was about 21
    and then another one when i was 22. None of them lasted more then 2 weeks.
    I also though that im not good enough for relations and that i will live my life
    in total lonleyness untill ill die, but latley i met a wounderfull girl from Germany
    i met her here on SF and she is now my g/f. So as you can see eventualy
    we do find someone, it only takes time.

    So my word to you, i dont know how old are you, but you really shouldt
    worry about relationship, by statistics it is VERY rear to live without some
    sort of relations, eventualy everyone finding it. So take it easy!
  3. InnerStrength

    InnerStrength Well-Known Member

    Well, I'm not planning on meeting my gf on here (it COULD happen, anything is possible, but I quite doubt it honestly). And I'm 23, which is about the age you start turning into the "freak" for not having a relationship.
  4. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Dude i know about 30 year olds who never had any relationship
    and its normal in the more advanced countrys such as USA or Canada.
    Take it easy for gods sake!
    It is completly normal!
    If you really want a relationship try registering to some sort of dating site
    or you can go to places such as a church and look for girls in there too.
    Religious girls are perfect girlfreands beacouse thay will stay with you forever.
    I used to have a freand who was 25 and he never had sex or kissed a girl
    and he was the same like you, low self confidance and all that crap.
    But that ok!!! Its NORMAL!!!!
  5. DrowningInTears

    DrowningInTears Well-Known Member

    same here, i just have to take my mind off it :(
  6. DrowningInTears

    DrowningInTears Well-Known Member

    also, dating sites are useless i get no responses
  7. Regenesis

    Regenesis Well-Known Member

    I'll also be considered a freak in a few years.I'm just 17 now,but I'll be 23 someday.Hey,you're not the only failure around here :D
    By the way,people also told me I'm atractive.Even girls.Especially after I lost weight.A few girls tell be that I am atractive now.But I also don't believe it.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 2, 2009
  8. Regenesis

    Regenesis Well-Known Member

    Go to a church to get laid:rolleyes:
    Thank God I'm atheist
  9. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    theres nothing wrong with being 17 or 23 and still not had a relationship, serious or otherwise.
    your not the only people in the world who haven't, seems to me you need to relax about it and just let things happen on there own.
    its all about confidence and theres no difference between talking to a girl who's a friend than it is one who's a prospective gf.
    theres nothing wrong with your lives, your not freaks, wierdo's or anything like that, you are just NORMAL.
    trust me, when you have a gf nagging at you about the silliest thing you will wish to be single lol:tongue:

    ( i await the many nagging pm's lol )
  10. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    Just because you don't have a relationship means you are a failure. Finding someone isn't the point of life, hell, I don't even know what the point of life is. It'll come someday, but don't feel like it's the end of the world if it doesn't come soon, because there's a heck of alot more to life.
  11. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    lol you are nasty :)
  12. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    i do not understand why getting a relationship by a certain age is such a factor in peoples lives

    relationships cause alot more issues and problems than they solve. and there is nothing wrong with not having one.

    you are not a freak for not have a girlfriend/boyfriend.

    you are not a freak for still being a virgin. at any age!

    there is nothing wrong with any of these things.

    i just dont understand it.
  13. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    theres way too many people who think that to live a normal life you need to have a gf / bf, to not be a virgin, that to not means you are a freak.
    thats what i dont understand either, its just a stereotypical view of whats accepted in todays world.
  14. DrowningInTears

    DrowningInTears Well-Known Member

    I don't understand why i feel this way either. I try to fight it but its winning.
  15. InnerStrength

    InnerStrength Well-Known Member

    The meaning of life is to form human relationships, the intimate especially. And the people that usually say "its not a big deal" have had or are in intimate relationships!
  16. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    Well my reason is that you can only be so old before the bumbling, nervous and not having any idea what to do act becomes pathetic and no longer just part of growing up. There is a reason most people start dating between 13 and say 25. This a time when making mistakes will not necessarily set your life in any solid direction. You make the mistakes and hopefully learn from them with little damage done. The older you get the less the "real world" allows for mistakes. It's not the best thing but if we're not fooling ourselves, it's how it works.

    And while I don't know Inner's history or what exactly he's looking for, I know that I'm not looking for the perfect relationship, I'm just looking for someone for the here and now. I've always been more of a loner but now that I'm older I see no point in doing anything else if I'm going to spend it alone. And finishing everything else is becoming harder and harder simply because I feel that a huge part of life is missing.

    And I may be 23 in years but I feel like an 8 year old when it comes to life experiences.
  17. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    whats so good about relationships anyway, there is no such thing as forever... people just die in the end.
  18. lymeinside

    lymeinside Well-Known Member

    i'm in my 20's and have never even held hands with someone of the opposite sex. it has nothing to do with feeling like a loser, it's just a hole that you keep falling deeper into. the more time that goes on the worse it gets. how do you explain to a 30 year old woman that you've never dated before? or never kissed? wahahahahaaa

    its also insanely lonely. some nights i go to sleep hugging my pillow, now that's pathetic. i just crave physical intimacy, not sex, just being close with someone that wants to be close to me. i want to share my life with someone. i'm ready for that. i want to care for and love a partner and all the good [and bad] things that go along with it. i want to fall asleep holding her in my arms.

    the truth of the matter is this will never happen for me. i must say that people can fuck off with their "don't worry what people think!!!" crap because i don't care what others think at all. i know it pains ME inside...
  19. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    well fine then
    it was just my opinion on it.

    what is stopping you from getting a relationship thne? what is the draw back?
    try not focusing on the fact taht you havent had a relationship. there is no shame on it

    and i am very sure you would find that alot of women would love because you have not had a relationship before, and if they react in a childish way of laughing at you then just tell them to shove it, they're obviously not the person for you.

    we all have knock backs and yes they hurt and yes it feels lie you'll be lonely forever.

    but unless you put yourself out there, you will never achieve what you want.

    they wont come to you.
  20. DrowningInTears

    DrowningInTears Well-Known Member

    I used to not care about it, and I shouldn't. I wish I was like before. All i know is my life took a sharp spiral downward recently and ever since i've been wanting someone. I pray this is only temporary.