No relationships because you are weird?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by SadDude87, Jul 27, 2008.

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  1. SadDude87

    SadDude87 Well-Known Member

    I think that's what it is with me. I am always playing a character that is 'normal'. A normal guy, likes sports, likes girls, likes a beer. That is how I try to have others percieve me. And none of it is a lie - I like all those things.

    But deeper down I feel like a weirdo. I have strange opinions. I have strange compulsions. I have strange desires, strange insecurities, strange needs.

    This is the side I always hide, because showing any of it terrifies me .... and I think this is why I don't feel like I have any meaningful relationships - I am always holding back. Anyone else?
     
  2. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    These sorts of questions have gone through my mind. In the end it's best to not hold back. Sure at first you can then slowly let it out.
    When your alot older and your looking back at life, you don't want to have regretted holding back.
     
  3. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    I used to be like that too.
    Until I moved into the place I am now, i live here with other people my age, and they know about my past with depression, selfharm, addictions etc. They are accepting of it.
    What changed me most is therapy though. I went into this grouptherapy, where I met other people with similar problems, and being able to be myself, including all my weirdness, around them, has helped me to become more and more open about the weirdness outside of therapy and everything, too.

    Besides, everyone is weird in their own way. I'm pretty sure everyone hides a part of themselves for the outworld, cos it's considered weird in today's society's standards.
     
  4. noregistered

    noregistered Guest

    I think everyone has a "weird" side to them. even the most seemingly normal person. and I think everyone hides that side. it's those of us that don't that become freaks. so the truth is, don't show anyone your weird side unless you really trust them. because yes, if you are considered "normal", and all your friends are the type that are "normal" then showing your weird side to them will leave you with less friends. especially if you're the jock type. jocks and cheerleader types frown upon those things. so unless you want to start hanging out with weirdos and freaks and geeks, it's best to just keep the weird part of you private and for only those you really trust. yes, you will go through life full of meaningless shallow relationships, but would you rather have that or go through life being yourself and alone? i guess you can always meet someone who understands, but if you're truly weird, no one will understand, trust me. but i guess if you're just kind of weird, like in a cool-guy-weird way, people won't mind.
     
  5. DrowningInTears

    DrowningInTears Well-Known Member

    I am wierd too i'm an otaku obsessed with anime and online gaming. I hav never sipped a beer. I never really was into sports or actors or any of the all-american past times. Im just a japanese-wannabe ultrageeky nerd it doesnt make me very desireable relationship material espeicially to teh opposite sex. i guess i can be normal for 3 days when i am at the anime con this weekend, hanging out with other wierdo geeks. its just the way i am very very long ago i tried to pretend to be 'normal' and it just wasnt me i couldnt do it.
     
  6. SadDude87

    SadDude87 Well-Known Member

    That is pretty much my line of thinking. I know what you mean by real weird and 'cool guy' weird. There are some aspects of myself which could be seen as 'cool guy weird', and I show that, and am confident with showing it.

    But then there's just weird weird. Stuff that in no possible way could be seen as desirable. It's like on Seinfeld when George opens up to Jerry about every problem he has ever had, and Jerry is 'scared straight'.

    It is fucked up weird. So I keep it to myself. Maybe everyone has that side, and this is what psychiatrsists are for. Because the thing is, once you show a weakness, people pounce. I know I use others weakness to fuel my own strengths, and I despise myself for it. But I can't help it. I am part of the problem. I think a psychiastrist regularly is probably a good thing.
     
  7. lavendR23

    lavendR23 Active Member

    i always think i'm too much of a headcase and too ugly for anyone to want
    and when anyone wants me i think they just want to use me.

    its a no win, i need emotional support, but men (in my experience)
    want women to take care of THEM.
    I feel to repulsive to be into sex and I dont want kids.
    so i am left alone
     
  8. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    I am a weirdo, I am a loser, I do stupid things, I say stupid things. If I can't be accepted for who I am and how I act then I rather be alone then with someone who does not share my interests.

    Yay for freaks.... or I'd always be alone.
     
  9. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member


    Can you illustrate or expand on what is weird?

    As far as being single, I've been single for 7 years. My ex bf in 2001 said I was perfect but needed therapy. I think what saved me, was he traveled 3 weeks out of the month for business so I was usually alone.

    I do consdier myself far from the conventional "norm." I observe people alot of times and cannot relate to them intimately. I'd rather sit at home and ponder. Be left alone is solitude and such...
     
  10. noregistered

    noregistered Guest

    SadDude87> "That is pretty much my line of thinking. I know what you mean by real weird and 'cool guy' weird. There are some aspects of myself which could be seen as 'cool guy weird', and I show that, and am confident with showing it.

    But then there's just weird weird. Stuff that in no possible way could be seen as desirable. It's like on Seinfeld when George opens up to Jerry about every problem he has ever had, and Jerry is 'scared straight'.

    It is fucked up weird. So I keep it to myself. Maybe everyone has that side, and this is what psychiatrsists are for. Because the thing is, once you show a weakness, people pounce. I know I use others weakness to fuel my own strengths, and I despise myself for it. But I can't help it. I am part of the problem. I think a psychiastrist regularly is probably a good thing."

    lol Seinfeld..."what is this salty discharge??" :p Yeah, I remember that episode, and yes, people will freak out if you let them see the REAL weird stuff about you, but so would you if someone revealed their weird stuff to you. It's just human nature to be all weird inside and it's human nature to get freaked out about weirdness. In any case, I don't know what your fucked up weird stuff is, but if you feel like it's causing you to lose out on deep meaningful relationships, it may be time to either let go of that fear and trust that people will understand, or try to abandon those really weird things about yourself.
     
  11. SullenGirl187

    SullenGirl187 Member

    I can definitely relate to this post. I have no relationships because I am weird. Friendships or otherwise. Well, actually I have one friend who enjoys and trips out on my eccentricities and likes me in a voyeuristic type of way. And this has caused me great sorrow and this is the main reason why I want to kill myself. It's funny because I don't personally think that I am weird. But the continual feedback that I receive from anyone and everyone that meets me is that I AM weird, so they never hang out with me a 2nd time. And this really hurts my feelings alot. And I feel so alienated and so so so so alone. I don't feel like I can go on if without love or acceptance. Life is just not worth living without love and acceptance. The constant rejection. The constant rolling of eyes when you say something they think is "weird". The constant, never ending torture of being rejected by every single person that meets you. And never figuring out WHY people just don't like you. It is unbearable. And not worth continuing living.
     
  12. Sorcery

    Sorcery Member

    call me crazy, but a lot of times I see people who are labeled "weird" as just bright-minded amongst people who don't understand, so I have deep sympathy for anyone who has the weird label. Don't feel bad, and wait to find other "weird" people to be with, because in my experience it yeilds incredible, if zany, conversations and actions.
     
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