No right to be sad

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by total eclipse, Sep 2, 2009.

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  1. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I don't know why just feeling so down and getting mad at myself
    I have no right to be this way i have got help for everyone now my twin and daughter are starting to get better. Just my one brother still needs help
    Just can't kick this feeling why why am i feeling this way I am not relieved i am more anxious scared then i ever was. I am lost and in too much pain. I wish i understood I just want to be me again the one noone could hurt the one that didn't give a dam abt what others thought. I want me back to being the one who didn't need anyone or anything who could stand up on her own and face anyone or anything. I want to be able to get angry and tell who hurt me to go straight to hell but i don't have that anymore. I have no backbone no fight left. I was always the one who took care of everyone now i still am but i can't seem to take care of me Where the hell did i go where am i just this weak snivelling stupid crying idiot who at least knows when to hold it together and when to fall apart. I know i don't make sense but then ive been told that before. I just want a way out of this hole I wish i could just beat the living daylight out of the people who hurt me then and now I want me back dam it i want the person who wouldn't take shit from no one not this weak vulnerable nothing i am now. I have no right to be sad yet find i am just that so dam sad and angry i let myself be this way.
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    You didn't LET yourself be that way. Sometimes a person can only take so much. And everyone needs someone, nobody can go through life all alone with nobody to talk to or help them.

    You have a right to feel sad. It's okay.
  3. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    You've been of great assistance at this site violet, but I'm a master at self-loathing...ease up on yourself! It's common for those who give a lot of help to others to feel down about themselves. Take a step back and let us help you. Feel free to pm me any time to vent or talk :hug:

  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I broke down crying the other day when husband called just out of no where so embarassing didn't have a reason why then today slept all day just couldn't seemt o function. Husband came home 445 and he is concerned says my speach is all slurring slow i just couldn't get words out right. Wanted to take me to emerg but i outright refused no im just tired. Im better now this evening but worry that maybe had a smll stroke. Who cares really i am at point where all i want is sleep no confrontations anymore
    Forgot to mention i had lot of stress at work that night before all this I am good at my work but just know im not me anymore I just want the old me back i want me back been fighting me for days to get control to stop all this nonsense how just tell me how to i stop being so weak.
  5. Blazeyboy

    Blazeyboy Guest


    Well i had the same problem all i did was sleep for a few days and BOOM i woke up feeling super good hope i helped
  6. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    Re: superhappylikealways



    why do you keep beating yourself up over your emotions?You can't help feeling the way you have a big heart and big hearts break hard.You care so much about others that you feel overwhelmed..and then feel guilty for being mad that people hurt you.Well stop it.You NEED to get mad at them.Get mad,violet.You were still hurt..and you need to stop trying to be "ok".
    You will be ok ..when you get it all out.Maybe for the rest of your life you will have these times when you need to let it purge..but you will never be ok if you keep thinking you have no right to feel this way.
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Violet you have more courage than you give yourself credit for.. You get out everyday and deal with this screwed up world we live in..I am in the same boat as you right now but I keep holding on thinking maybe tomorrow will be better..You offer so much to the people of this forum.. So I know there is still a big heart beating inside of you.. You are in pain right now and it is understandable.. You say you helped your twin and daughter.. That takes strength..I hope you can hold onto any positive thoughts that come your way..It does help talking with a therapist.. Mine always makes me smile before I leave her office..That lasts a few days and then I am down again until my next visit..I have learned to hang on and not let the SI take over..I wish you all the best and you can PM me anytime you need to talk.. I am usually only on in the mornings..Take Care!!
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am so tired now and yes sad wish i understood why ffff i hate me so much but thats okay i hate him i told her he would be angry for me talking to her i told her i was afraid of him He just locked me out i am not allowed friends there not allowed totalk to them but i have nothing to say now i just go there to respond to others post god i wish i was someone else god i wish i could be strong nto weak i wish i go just sleep i am to lonely now i need them back they are gone away please i hate me i just hate me somuch. Please god maked him see how much he hurts people give him back his compassion please so he stops hurting others like he continues to do. Locking people out from the only life line they have what do you think they will do something i almost did. almost and still want to but can't dam it i can't.
  9. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    just ignore this okay i just need to get pain out understand how one can go to sleep knowing the suffering he has caused so many. why does he get to play god all those poor people he just deems unfit he throws away shuts them out and i worry for them because i don't want them alone out there they had friends they talked too they contributed for years then to just throw them away it cruelty demeaning and unjust. god help them all i hope they find this place because no one will hurt them here
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