No sad goodbyes no tears

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by liveinhope, May 30, 2008.

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  1. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    Something very strange happened to me yesterday, an odd calmness surrounded me a midst the darkness and i had for a moment a very clear and direct plan. and felt sooooo relieved, no need to post or to share or to be persuaded to stay just a peaceful and content feeling as though id fought the war , lost the battle but at long long last could sleep.
    I then went home and looked at my family and sure enough battle commenced once more, but i think if the time comes when its over it will be ok, no sadness no goodbyes just the knowledge to those that know me that its all ok
    luv ya all and stay safe
    hugs
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 30, 2008
  2. see

    see Well-Known Member

    :unsure:i have felt this way to but a promise i made kept me........:unsure:
     
  3. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    hey hun, you know you can always call on me if you need a chat :hug:
     
  4. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hun, please keep the image of that family in your head always. I know it's so tough right now but it will be so much more difficult for those kids if you leave them. I'm here talk to me anytime you need.
     
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I understand since I have been in that same place. You only think that when the time comes all will be okay. Well, it won't. At least not for your children. Even as adults they will be greatly affected. Our mind, through it's pain, tries to convince us that we won't be missed. That it won't make a difference. Nothing can be more incorrect. It will affect your children, your granchildren and so on. It affects generations to come. A sense of sadness will fill them everytime they hear the word mother, or your given name. It is a sense of overwhelming loss and grief. You think they will be okay. Yes, they go on living, sometimes, but it will never be okay again. Look how the death of someone you love has affected you. It has brought you here and placed you in this turmoil. Is that the life you want for them? The decision is yours, and always has been. I wish to encourage you to continue the battle until you can claim a victory. Every day is one day closer to winning. Don't surrender. :hug:
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I have felt this way in the past, but it didn't last long...I know if i died, it would deeply affect my family, and that's one of the main reasons I am still alive.
    Please don't give in to these thoughts, Im here if you need me :arms:
     
  7. thebrain

    thebrain Well-Known Member

    I have that feeling all the time, but it usually only lasts for a split second. I end up thinking instantly about my boyfriend. Silly, I know. But he's very much the one reason I'm still here. He's the only person I feel a connection to.

    Still, I understand what you mean. It's nice to feel like it would be simple to finish the war once and for all.
     
  8. patacake

    patacake Well-Known Member

    my dear and treasured friend

    Maybe i know more of ur sadness , torment , misery and pain than anyone which makes my constant pleading with u stay more selfish than anything really.

    I cant even say u dont have valid reasons for being tired weary and beaten by it all because sadly many things , cruel and evil have brought u to where u are and u would be forgiven for taking that tempting option.

    My wish is simply that u wait and try and together we will face the darkness and fight the demons and tormentors until the bad can once again be outweighed abd beaten by the good things and the reasons to be here.

    Such is the love for u of ur family and friends and colleagues and for anyone who truly knows or takes the time to grow to know u that there isnt a soul who would not wish u free from daily torture and who would stand up and be counted next to u in your corner .

    And in that corner u will always find me , luvs ya hun , always will *hug

    patacake alias Jo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  9. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    I feel very hunbled to have met so many nice people here, patacake you know whats been happening the last 4 years, but also throughout my life, you also know i spend more time in therapy than anything else becouse i do not want or choose to feel like this but sometimes it just seems to consume me and i have no clear vision, gentlelady ty for the reply i know you are right the rational side i have (JUST) Tells me you are right and yes loosing someone so close destroys a part of u that i believe now can never be found

    Thank you all for the replies im sorry to be so negative xxxxx:sad:
     
  10. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You weren't being negative hun, only honest about your feelings. I am so glad you have someone like patacake who knows you and is close to you. Lean on that support and draw what you can from all possible venues. You are loved by many and they will be there for you always, no matter what. Take care hun and keep the faith. :hug:
     
  11. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    I am trying and i will try its just so hard sometimes when you dont feel in control of whats happening to you emotionally and i hate that person that i now can be , i never used to be like this,but them i hid everything and lived a life of pretending, not to sure which is best face it and battle the consequences or hide things away and live a lie?

    any way thank you and ill try to keep the faith corrina hugs you stay safe to
     
  12. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni

    :hug: Stay safe. You can drop a mail to me if you want to talk. :hug:
     
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