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no sleep

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by emilykatie101, May 18, 2008.

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  1. emilykatie101

    emilykatie101 Well-Known Member

    I dont want to go to sleep tonight.
    I've been afraid of sleep for several months now.
    Some nights are good though. Exhaustion wins.
    I've been sleeping on the couch. Its easier that way, too many bad memories in my bedroom. I tried to lay down earlier but I just shook and cried so
    I came back to the computer. Now I dont know what the hell I'm doing.
    I just want to burn that bed and burn that bedroom down.
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i know exactly what you mean. i always sleep on the sofa, with the lights on. when i'm extra stressed i sleep with my clothes on. i know it's not the healthiest, but it's where i feel safest...

    still, you need to sleep 6 to 8 hours a night in order to let your body and mind heal. how much sleep are you getting these days?
  3. emilykatie101

    emilykatie101 Well-Known Member

    I usually get 5. If its a bad night I get 3.
    I do have nights where I get 6 but that is rare these days.
    Its not healthy at all and its been taking a toll.
    I'm glad I'm not alone in choosing the sofa over the bed.
    It feels safer there. I dont sleep in the dark either, I need to be able
    to see everything just in case.
  4. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    yep, i can relate to the 'just in case' -- i can see both doors to the cottage from where i sleep, so i always have an escape route mapped out.

    i took a relaxation class at the hospital, and it really helped. when i wake up in a panic i can stop and say to myself "am in danger right now, or am i reacting to something from the past"... just being able to make the distinction helps me calm myself down, with deep breathing and imagining that i'm in a safe place that nobody can reach.

    sounds like you instinctively know what to do in order to feel safe. just keep on doing it. the only thing i would add is to try and increase the length of time you can sleep. breathing helps. reminding yourself that you are safe, in this very moment, and that you are able to take care of yourself.
  5. emilykatie101

    emilykatie101 Well-Known Member

    I do need to do more to sleep better.
    I have grounding techniques that my therapist taught me, I'll try to find
    one that will help me at bedtime.
    Relaxation classes do sound good. I dont think I'm ever relaxed.
    That is something to talk about with my therapist this week.
    Thank you.
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