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no strenght left

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sarahg, Apr 14, 2007.

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  1. sarahg

    sarahg Well-Known Member

    i thourght i was doing ok.but im not at all.its all a mask.the tears wont stop, i cant keep the mask on anymore.its too heavy.why.why am i here.why.the pain is to much.whats wrog with me.cant
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Take some deep breaths.

    Everyone gets bad days, even people without depression. This is part of your depression, and it will improve. It improved before and will again.

    Think about your son. THAT is the reason that you are here. And that is at a very basic level. There are far more reasons you are here.

    If you need to cry, then cry. Cry until you can't anymore. It's a healing process. Crying releases hormones that help the body heal.

    Remember that you are grieving for your man as well, so it's natural for things to be hard at times. That is what happens with grief.

    What's wrong with you? You have an illness. Anyone with illnesses have bad days, diabetics might have days when their blood sugar is too high or low, people with athsma may have athsma attacks. It doesn't mean you are going backwards or anything like that, or that the good things you felt were a mask, it just means you are having a bad day, as everyone does.

    Hang in there and keep fighting.
  3. sarahg

    sarahg Well-Known Member

    ty .i know you are right,but i dont want to fight anymore.it so selfish of me i know.how awful am i.
  4. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    It's not selfish, it's a natural instinct to want the pain to go. Just try to hold on to the fact that you know you will have better days because you have been having them. You know the pain will lessen, given time, and it will. Keep reminding yourself of that.

    The selfish bit would be if you did something permanent and deprived your son of the mother that he clearly deeply loves.

    What do you think you could do today that might make you feel better?
  5. sarahg

    sarahg Well-Known Member

    cant stop crying.cant stop.cant talk,sorry.ty
  6. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    then keep crying. Cry as much as you need to. You don't need to talk, just recognise that you have support here and you are not alone.

    Cry for as long as you need to. You will probably feel better afterwards.
  7. sarahg

    sarahg Well-Known Member

    i almost did it scum.omg.
  8. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Almost did what?

    If you are talking about taking your life, then the key word is ALMOST. Point is you didn't, you chose to keep fighting. Which is a huge step. You brought yourself back.

    You should be proud of yourself for choosing to keep fighting.
  9. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Maybe do something like call the samaritans. Maybe that might help.
  10. I Miss You

    I Miss You Guest

    thank god you didnt hon..you are a really close freind of mine..im begging you Sarah....PLEASE DONT DO THIS!!!!.....all you have to do is when your phone starts working again..please call me..i am always here for you hon
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