Hi Sadhart,
I hope you keep doing things that give you a feeling of achievement. I have noticed that I feel much better when I have successes, whether it going for a walk or reading or yes getting through a computer game
I was terribly loaded with anxiety and self-loathing when young and constantly depressed. I did not know how to mix socially and was constantly afraid of being shamed or humiliated or criticized by others. I would try and plan things that were 'fun' but when I tried them (eg: going to a movie etc) I would feel this strange sense of shame about doing something to feel good ! It was very strange.
It has only been through years of therapy and also getting older that these fears have slowly trailed away behind me. I am glad I am middle aged now. I know that is not a common thing to hear but in my case, it is true ! As a whole, although I have pangs of my old conflicted companions, loneliness and social anxiety, I feel a lot more calmer. Everything passes, no matter how painful.
Peace be with you
One Day at a Time
SL