no subject

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Needshelp, Apr 16, 2009.

  1. Needshelp

    Needshelp Well-Known Member

    i really guess the old saying "money doesn't buy happiness" is true.i get a nice income tax return and i still cant really smile. i was doin pretty good until the past couple weeks. my living situation is driving me absolutely insane. i cant fuckin take it anymore. i really cant. it would be amazing to sit down and actually be able to talk to someone without being thrown away. jesus christ. im relaly tired of everything. nothing makes me happy. i have no energy.i feel retarded most of the time im awake. im so unhappy. im around family and people that "care" and i know they really, but im soooooo fucking lonely.i dont know what happened, or when the whole dating game got switched around, but i actually got more action when i treated girls like shit then now when i try to treat them with respect.being the nice guy never has worked for me. giving out, buying, driving, doing, saying, nothing is never enough when i do it. or i must be doing something wrong. fuck. i cant even get a girl to look at me, and if they do they mistake me for a taxi driver or just a getting reallllllllllly reallllly tired of everything.i have damn near no friends. and even those who try to be friendly end up dropping me altogether. they say you cant love others until you love yourself, and i think the reason why i hate everyone is because i fucking hate me. i hate me like fighter hates his rival. its been like that most of my life. i dont know how to change it. even when i was under 190 i still hated myself. the more i think about, the more i realize no wonder no one calls me. no wonder everyone thinks im disgusting. anymore i wish i could have given my life and energy to someone who is more worthy and has more ambition. someone who actually has a goal, or a more deserving life than mine. cuz the way i see it right now, im just a big waste of time and disappointment to more than a couple people.

    Mod edit > helena> methods
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 16, 2009
  2. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Maybe those people who you thought were your real friends, never were, hence why they dropped you instead of still being your friend.
    Do you not have goals, ambitions and dreams of your own?
  3. Needshelp

    Needshelp Well-Known Member

    sadly ive never had any real goals or dreams. im a pretty decent bass player, but as much as i love music, i cant really make a career out of it. i dont know what i would like to do with myself. and ive thought about it long and hard. i dunno man. i need to stop being such a pussy and change my life around drastically.
  4. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    What interests and hobbies do you have? Perhaps look into them and see if there is something there which you could go for. You've probably already done this though.
  5. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    First of all, you aren't a pussy. I don't know why it is that so many girls seem to migrate toward the guys that don't treat them right, but I've noticed it too with my friends.

    You mentioned liking music and being a decent bass player. If it's something you like doing, you should do it. Music is amazing; I think it's the most powerful form of media out there because it says so much.
  6. Needshelp

    Needshelp Well-Known Member

    music is really the only kinda hobby i have. and as much as i love it, theyres nothing for it in the town i live in. at least career wise. and my house just keeps getting crazier and crazier. i just wanna move to the middle of nowhere by myself and crawl under a rock for the rest of my pathetic life.