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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sadhart, Dec 1, 2011.

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  1. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    I don't even know why I'm writing this because it's no different than any of my other pointless threads. When I got rejected over two years ago, it was because I didn't show i had balls. She was right. Because if I did have balls, I would have killed myself by now instead of talking about wanting to die.

    This 15 year old in the area i live in killed himself a month or so ago, and while I wish that someone had intervened, I can't help but envy him for having the balls to do what I can't. I woke up today at 4:30 in the morning....I have no job or any purpose in life, so why did I wake up at this time? Why did I wake up at all? I can't see there being any hope in my life.

    Sorry for the waste of space.
  2. crystalclear

    crystalclear Well-Known Member

    :i'm sorry: You might read things that you don't want to see but please....

    "Sorry for the waste of space." Not a waste of space. I don't know if you mean waste of space for your post or your self but you are definitely wrong here. I know what feeling like a waste of space is like. Its not a good feeling and sometimes I just don't see the point either. Then I realized that feeling sorry for my existence will get me no where. I let myself get busy. Thinking happy thoughts, taking risks.

    And committing suicide doesn't mean you/he have the "balls". It doesnt mean your brave. In fact I think its cowardice. Trying to live your life despite the tough circumstances and never giving up is what I call real bravery. So be brave because theres always hope. :hug:
  3. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    Suicide is not always an act of cowardice; that kid who took his life was hurting and overwhelmed.

    Yes, you are right that one should not feel sorry for his or her life, but I can't fake happy thoughts that aren't really there. After a while, I just end up crashing hard and the painful reality sets back in.
  4. Severijn

    Severijn Well-Known Member

    Hey sadhart.

    It also sounds to me that because you have no job you feel really down in life. Didn't you finish an education? Do you have an interest in any particular field.

    I was some time without a job, and it really made me feel bad, worthless, unproductive.

    Do you think you have the energy to take up a eduction (perhaps there is an option to do the education at home)?
  5. ZasuArt

    ZasuArt Well-Known Member

    Sending hugs and friendship, Sadheart. I'm so sorry you're suffering. Of course you must know that your post is not a waste of space anymore than any of our posts are. While I also disagree with Crystal's remark that suicide is cowardice (Sorry Crystal...fear may be a motivator, but those of us who have attempted repeatedly know that it's certainly never "the easy way" to literally kiss your own ass goodbye), it also takes balls to survive every day with severe, suicidal depression. And it takes balls to reach out and talk about your feelings and frustration. I wish I had all the answers (for all of us), but what I can tell you is that I care, and I'm here if you need a friend. :console:
  6. EarToHelp

    EarToHelp Member

    I must agree with Crystal, I think that suicide is the cowards way out - but sometimes, people are forced to take this route.

    Explain your situation a little bit more, what would make you happy? Do you have goals or anything? Do you enjoy any aspects of life?
  7. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    I have not finished college yet, and that is one of the reasons why I feel hopeless. It's hard to talk about right now why that is the case, but if I can, I am hoping that it will give myself a sense of purpose because I don't feel I have one right now.
  8. EarToHelp

    EarToHelp Member

    If you can't find a reason to be on this Earth then I will be a reason.

    I am here for you, and I can help you if you need it. Please keep strong and keep me updated!
  9. crystalclear

    crystalclear Well-Known Member

    The economy is really bad right now :( I understand that trying to survive everyday is really hard. Sadhart, if you haven't had a chance to finish college then perhaps you can try finding a job/business where there is something that your really good at and that fulfills you. :) but please don't give up
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