I am sad. I don't really feel the need to talk. But maybe I do. Gosh, I'm so confused. My ex-husband is blocking me from leaving hte country to see my family. Well not me, my son, but that's the same thing. I haven't seen them in over ten years, my boy has never even met them. I cannot live without them, without my faith and my land and my culture. I just want to kill myself. I am sick of hearing about other people visiting family because I only have one person here and that's my son. I wonder if they will let my dead body leave the country. Sorry. I'm standing two feet from the edge. I hate him so much.