hmmm here goes, i'm not one to usually talk about my problems i keep them all bottled inside. I don't want to talk to a shrink because that'd be wierd and i'd probably be commited into a "crazy home" i know that's not what there called but i'm being cliche here. Anywho i'm 17 im out of high school i graduated a year early, yay, i guess. I hated school so much i really had to get out of there early or i would of resorted to dropping out and no one in my family has a high school dimploma. I am lost now i have no idea what i want to do with my life. There is so much in this world to do but i am just one lonley person among billions in this world. I often blank out sometimes like im not even here. I don't know what to think about that. It feels like im losing myself each day, There are happy moments but i always have doubt on my mind. I am dissapointed by myself each day and i don't know why. I'm afraid to let life happen but yet this world is going to sh*t. I recently get into these depressed slumbers where im trembiling and just asking myself why don't you just kill yourself already? What is the purpose of being here? I'm stuck.. these thoughts may become an everything day now. And this is not something i'm proud of, of course i don't want to end my life, hell life is a gift. BUT i didn't ask to be here so why should i continue to stay. It really all comes down to the fact of my nieces & nephew. i love them with allllll my heart and never want them to know, if i did, committed suicide. Thats so heartbreaking and who will be there to protect them from this hell hole. I DON'T KNOW what to think anymore.. maybe you guys can help me because i feel no one really can.