I'm a graduate of some low class law school. I set out to make up for my poor academics during primary and secondary school, hoping to be a successful and wealthy lawyer like my father. turns out I was too stupid for the top law school in my country. I was admitted, but could not keep up with my brighter classmates. Ended up transferring to some deadbeat school. "Ok, then", I tell myself, "I'll work harder so i can be top in THIS school, at least". Didn't work out either. i simply cannot read and remember things as quickly and as well as everyone else, no matter how hard I try. i would've been fine if the only reason for my failures was due to lack of effort. but it clearlyw asn't, because my classmates both in my previous school and the one i graduated from were ableto spend time for themselves and with their families and STILL get good grades. me, i sacrificed eveything from my health to my time with my family and could barely pass. I get how people say, "maybe you will see your value as a human being elsewhere", as a way to feel better about it. but honestly i can never forgive myself because no matter what i do, i can never change the fact that i'm not as good as the top grads in my country. i will never forgive myself. why have i not attempted suicide? because there are people who will be affected... my family.. and my gf.. so i tell myself, "continue living miserably, for the sake of those around you". but it's very taxing. sometimes i wanna be selfish and just off myself because the misery is just too much to handle.