Tonight was by far the worst for depressed episodes. It made me physically ill. There is no hope for me. No way to get help anymore, no one to turn to. It is too much for me to handle now... Please don't tell me I should go get help because that costs money, which I do not have. Even if I were to get it, it wouldn't work...it never has. I'm tired of being a burden to everyone and tired of feeling this way. I'm sure you've all heard this a thousand times, but I just wanted to get it out. It's kind of ironic that the sun is rising now.