I'm so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, just wish the pain would end. To me the world has become dark and uninviting. I can't trust people, I feel paranoid all the time. I'm certain that everyone hates me, or at the very least are repulsed by me. I've been trying so hard to fix my life and put things back together but it just isn't working. I'm still stuck with all my problems. My health has been steadily deteriorating for 2 years now and I feel like I'm losing my mind. My thoughts aren't as sharp anymore and it feels like a cloud shrouding my head. I suffer from crippling anxiety, depression and fear. A sense of looming disaster surrounds me all the time and I cannot escape it. My body hurts and aches all over and makes existence pure hell. Worst of all no one seems to take me seriously. I'm utterly tired of crying for help and being ignored or my feelings get belittled. I look like a healthy and strong individual on the outside so nothing can be wrong right? All the current events aren't helping either. Right now I strongly believe that there is no future for me. I might survive to see 2016 but 2017 doesn't exist for me. Only my inevitable death. I can't take care of myself and it's apparent no one else can (or doesn't want to) either. I'm starting to see the only option: put myself out of my misery before I slowly wither away in horrible pain.