No way out

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Brad93, Aug 8, 2016.

  1. Brad93

    Brad93 Member

    I apologise for my tone but I certainly don't want ''there there it'll be ok'' because it won't; I'm just wondering if anyone here can offer me some advise...

    I've been in a really shit situation for around 7 years now but it seems that up until about 8 months ago I still had some level of optimism in me; I believed that I would be able to sort my life out.

    I've known for a couple of years though that my life isn't going to be where I'm currently based; I have a past here that I need to detach myself from to start a new life but that is completely off the table; I have no money, no friends, and the only family I have are based where I am now.

    So what I'm getting at is this: I need to move away, preferably half way across the country (England) so that I can start a new life away from a family that makes it impossible to stop smoking weed (something I really need to do in order to function), and away from my past. I'm really getting desperate but at the same time I know it's not even possible. I've considered just getting on a train and going, even if it means I have to sleep rough but I don't think I would be able to get any sort of help without a local connection.

    I just don't know what to do, all I know is that I can't stay here for much longer it will end up killing me.

    Thanks

    Brad
     
  2. Michaela

    Michaela Member

    I'm not in the UK, so not sure if my advice is helpful.

    I can think of two things you could do.
    1) See if you can get some kind of (social) benefits from the government, so you will have money to move
    2) Start applying for jobs in a place you'd like to live and move once you have one

    Good luck!
     
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hello @Brad93 I am not in the UK either. Hmmm have you tried rehab for your addiction for weed? Addiction is an illness just like any other illness and needs to be treated. Have you spoken to a doctor about how you feel? How come you have no friends at all? just curious.
     
  4. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    Do you have people that you can move in with if you move. What about researching addictions services in a place where you would like to live.
     
  5. Brad93

    Brad93 Member

    Thanks for all of your responses.
    I haven't tried rehab you have to pay for that as far as I'm aware, if I had money I wouldn't be in this situation. I have no friends because I isolated myself when I was 15 and never left the house for about 5 years. The weed isn't really the main issue although it does make me extremely paranoid and depressed, I would be able to stop it no problem if it weren't for my circumstances; I'm pretty much smoking it to get through the day as quick as possible - everyday I wake up in the morning with the intention to stop smoking it, I really mean it too and I'm never depressed at that point, but then a complete lack of activity or interaction with anyone through the morning makes my mood deteriorate and by about 1 in the afternoon I start thinking negatively about everything, then by 3 0-clock I want to get stoned, that way I'll be in bed by about 9 o-clock and will sleep right through until the morning, if I don't have weed I wont go to sleep until about 2 or 3 in the morning. Basically I'm ending the day by smoking it whereas if I went without I would have to get through another 8 hours of boredom.
     
  6. Brad93

    Brad93 Member

    I'm spending most of my days literally waiting for time to pass at the moment it's ridiculous, watching paint dry would actually spice it up a bit.
     
  7. Brad93

    Brad93 Member

    Unfortunately not.

    All I have is my immediate family and most of them drive me insane with their constant negativity. I don't even like sitting in the same room as them I'm depressed enough already, I spend most of my time upstairs in my bedroom.

    Addictions services... Hmm... As far as I'm aware you always have to pay for stuff like that which I can't do at the moment, and like I said above the weed isn't really the main problem it's more my environment, although yeah rehab would deal with that as I'd be taken out of my surroundings.
     
  8. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    It very much depends on where you want to try and rebuild your new life. I did exactly that in 84 to escape addiction and never looked back, so its a fine idea and will certainly help you break the cycle you find yourself in.

    You could probably find a shelter of some form or other in most places as a temporary thing until you find your feet. Local Councils and Housing Associations will put you on their homeless lists qhich put you in a better position to find somewhere to live. You can get help with rent and council tax via Universal Credit [new]. The larger the place you go to, the more resources will be available. I moved north because I knew the area. I had worked up here.

    You will obviously find it more difficult without a job, but its not impossible thats for sure. A lot of it depends on how strong your desire is to change your life. You can make it happen, but you need determination to see it through.