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no way out

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by dessinesmoiunmouton, Mar 24, 2007.

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  1. i cannot live with myself...4 years ago i did something worse than murder and I cannot live with the guilt anymore....i want to end my life, help me :sad:
  2. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    What is it that you've done?

    I'm sure there are better solutions for you than suicide. Try talking to us :arms:.

  3. i lied about being raped

    i live with my guilt everyday

    and i cant admit the truth

    i cant live with myself

    I know you must hate me now
  4. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Of course I don't hate you - I don't even know you.

    I'd be lying if I said it didn't do something funny to my insides when I read that, if only because I was sexually abused. But I don't hate you, not at all. I personally wouldn't judge you. I'm sure you had a reason. That doesn't make it right, but that is not a crime worse than murder.

    Did you prosecute anyone?

    Do keep talking, I'm not going to judge you. I want to help.

  5. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Well done for admitting that.

    Everyone makes mistakes. Can I ask why you did it?

    Have you had any therapy or help since? It sounds like you need some support now.

    Also, maybe a way to relieve the guilt, albeit terrifying, would be to come clean to those that think you have been raped.

    I don't hate you. I know people who have lied abut having cancerous brain tumours, others who have been raped, and all sorts of things. I think there must have been something severely wrong in your life to do that. Which is why I think you need some help.

    You know you have done wrong, and now you need to put it right.

    Remember that some people may react badly to what you have said, and understandably so, but you have lied about something very close to a lot of people here. Just be prepared for that.

    I don't mind if you want to PM me if you want a chat. You have punished yourself more than anyone else could, but I really do think you need to do something to put it right.

    Feel free to PM me

    Take care of yourself
  6. reborn1961

    reborn1961 Guest

    No one is here to judge you. The fact that you have admitted it here shows you are moving forward. Perhaps therapy can help get it all out so you can move forward without guilt. No one hates you. I was raped 7 years ago and your statement did not offend me at all. People sometimes make wrong decisions, it happens. Try not to beat yourself up.
  7. Thank you "scum" "nobody" and "reborn"

    I feel like I owe you an apology "nobody" and "reborn" because people like me only make it worse for people like you

    I will never be able to answer why i did it, I have been sexually abused to, when I said that I only said it to my school psychologist, and she wasnt supposed to say that to anybody, but she did ( to my aunt who was my legal guardian at the time) and my aunt who was supposed to keep it a secret told several people, so it wasnt supposed to get this far

    no i didnt prosecute anyone, Im am not even sure the guy i pointed my finger at knows, but I have a feeling that he might because when he saw me last year he was looking at me badly, i never go out because i fear that i will meet him
  8. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    You need to try and right your wrongs for your sake and his.

    Do you have a therapist? Would you consider talking to one about being totally honest?
  9. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    The advice above is good: you recognize you did something wrong, now it's up to you to make it right. And if others give you a hard time about it, forgive them and keep going. Mostly forgive yourself first. It takes courage to admit to wrongdoing - just try your best to make it right and go on from there.



    PS; love your screen name!:smile: THE LITTLE PRINCE is one of my favorite childrens' books. I still read it and I'm well past childhood!:rolleyes:
  10. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Sweetheart you do not owe me an apology. You've never done anything to hurt me. Don't be daft :hug:.

    I'm so sorry that you have suffered sexual abuse :sad: :hug:.

    Did you exaggerate the abuse to rape when you told someone about it, or did you make up a seperate case?

    Your school psychologist was wrong to tell your aunt, and your aunt was wrong to tell 'several people', but I'm sure they thought they were doing the right thing.

    I hope you are okay and that you keep holding on. You certainly don't deserve to die. Everybody makes mistakes. Have you had any counselling?

    Take care, and keep talking to us,

    :hug: x
  11. my mother would be so amshamed of me , she has been through so much already :sad:
  12. reborn1961

    reborn1961 Guest

    Did your story result in this guy being arrested? I see what Scum is saying but I think you should move on without contact with this guy. We all have personal defects that we wish to make amends to many people for. However, if making amends may be harmful then you should not. If you tell him the truth he could go back to the police and you could be charged with filing a false police report. I don't know where you live, but in the USA that is a nasty charge to face.

    I think it best to move on and be honest with your therapist. My opinion is only one of hundreds you may get so search inside yourself for what you can live with. You do not owe me an apology, you did not assault me. Yes when women lie about rape it is a problem but rest assured, the way women are sometimes treated in rape case existed long before you were born.
  13. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    To be blunt, if you did something like suicide she would go through a hell of a lot more.

    If you told the truth she would probably be concerned and worried as to why you did it, and also impressed that you could admit the truth.

    See the reactiosn you have got so far, they have been nonjudgemental, you could receive the same response in real life, and you would be very likely to get the same response from a therapist. therapists are not there to judge you, but help you. Maybe just start with getting yourself some help, and being honest with him/her.

    It will be scary though, but you need to confront your fear to have any peace in life.
  14. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

  15. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    urgh, I don't know why the quote thing is stupid, sorry
  16. yes the little prince is my favorite book

    i would like to come clean, but my mom has been through so much, i dont want to put her through the extra shame, i dont know where to start :sad: i dont deserve to live

    something was always wrong with me as a child, i was disturbed, i remember * this is graphic* masturbating as young as four...somehting unatural for a child that age...i think somthing happened to me very young but I canr remember it

    I was sexually assaulted by my cousin once

    by a family friend before

    and as for that guy, he did *touch* me before, but he did not rape me
  17. reborn1961

    reborn1961 Guest

    Let your therapist help you determine when and who you disclose this to. Instead of making yourself crazy with guilt put it in your therapist hands. Sometimes a professional can really help fix things.
  18. no it did not, im am not even sure he knows that i accused him, i avoid going out so ill never have to face him or run into him, the one time i did see him he just looked at me with hathred
  19. i think one of the biggest problems i have is the fact that i live in a really small country in the carribean, its so hard to find a therapist here
  20. reborn1961

    reborn1961 Guest

    You can't keeping hiding inside forever. You need to have a life as well. So you made a mistake, big deal, you will work through it. If the guy never faced any police or legal issues then I suspect it is just a rumor with someone that you accused him. Perhaps, don't hide. Stand tall and go out. If he has something to say to you, he will but most likly will avoid you. If you want to be freed from this lie you have to start to take your life back. We all have dark secrets and some we never ever share. You are no better or worse than anyone else on this planet.
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