No way out!

[Minky16]

Hi,
I don't know what to do. I have made such a mess of everything. Yet again I have put my husband in financial difficulty due to my depression resulting in retail therapy. I lost my father 10 months ago, my mother is grieving terribly and I am the only one she can talk to. My daughter went back to an abusive relationship and tried to kill herself about 2 months ago. My husband told me if I ever put us in financial difficulties again that would be the end of our marriage, so I dare not tell him, everything I do or say is wrong, everything I do to try and put things right makes things worse. My life insurance would put everything right for him. I feel sick, my stomach churns, I'm not sleeping and I am so very miserable.

 

[case.no.87]

I’m so sorry. One thing that helps is other people’s stories seeing you are not alone in this. Advertisers are not looking out for consumers best interests. The joy of retail therapy is easily transferable. I can tell your relationships with your family members are very important to you. If it was me i’d cry over dessert to everyone. The best thing you can do is take care of yourself.

 

[JDot]

Hey @Minky16 Taking your life will not solve anything. It will only bring pain to your family. I know this because my sister took her life, and it has hurt my family a lot. My niece and mother will never be the same again. I can tell you're in a lot of pain. You'll always have a place here to share your pain. Pain shared is pain lessened. We're here for you, and we're glad to have you here.

 

[may71]

Sorry that you're going through this Minky

I lost my father 10 months ago, my mother is grieving terribly and I am the only one she can talk to

Both of you might be able to go to counseling together about this

Yet again I have put my husband in financial difficulty due to my depression resulting in retail therapy

If you overspent, you may be able to return some or all of the items for a refund. If you're interested, we may be able to help you find some credit counseling that would help put things into order.

My daughter went back to an abusive relationship and tried to kill herself about 2 months ago

There are some resources that might help her. www.hotpeachpages.net has a world-wide directory of domestic violence and abuse resources, as well as a library of articles about domestic violence and abuse.

My life insurance would put everything right for him

If he loves you at all, your death would be a disaster for him. If he doesn't love you, you don't owe him anything.

My husband told me if I ever put us in financial difficulties again that would be the end of our marriage, so I dare not tell him, everything I do or say is wrong, everything I do to try and put things right makes things worse

I wonder if on some level your own marriage is abusive. Maybe the end of your marriage could mark a new beginning.

Hugs

 

[Minky16]

If I could get a loan I know that would solve my problem, but I don't work and my husband gives me £100 per month, but he pays all the bills. No lender would look at me. I'm breaking my heart and there is no one to help me.

 

[may71]

You may be able to return some or all of the items that you bought for a refund. Also, if you have debt, you may be able to work out a payment plan.

Citizen's advice might be worth calling. They might be able to get you some credit counseling.

Citizen's Advice
www.citizensadvice.org.uk
Offer's help with benefits, housing, health, law, work, and more.

Maybe you could get a part-time job that could pay off your debt.

The link in my signature can connect you to some information about treatment methods, and other info. I'll post a copy of the link in case you're on a phone.

Treating Depression, Anxiety, Insomnia, Pain; Other Suicide Help

 

[Lara_C]

Hi @Minky16 . I agree the first thing you need to do is contact a debt adviser. In addition to Citizens Advice, the Money Advice Service can help put you in touch with a specialist adviser: click to link

Debt Advice

 

[Lara_C]

It's not right your husband threatened to leave you if you got into more financial dufficulty. You shouldn't have to live in fear of him for any reason. He shouldve been more understanding of the pressure on you and your need for relief. Probably if he had been, you would not have felt the need for retail therapy so strongly

 

[Minky16]

The other problem is I live in France, debt is handled differently here. I want to come home but my husband won't leave. It's lonely enough at the best of times without Covid. I am totally lost and broken,

 

[Lara_C]

Have you told your doctor how bad you're feeling? You may need a course of meds to ease the pressure

 

[KM76710]

Hello and welcome. I agree with the comment above, talking to your doctor may be your first step.