no way out

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by forlorn, Mar 24, 2010.

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  1. forlorn

    forlorn Staff Alumni

    Feel so low right now. I close my eyes and there she is there, just can't free her from my mind. Seems like I'm refusing to let go. I was so sure she was my soul mate. Feel ill all the time and cant sleep. I know its me and ppl keep telling me it isnt, but it is! She's been so wonderful to me and cant believe I let her slip through my fingers. Its my fault and I have to pay the price and carry the cross.
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Letting go isn't easy.

    Why do you blame yourself for what happened?
     
  3. Mat Voleido

    Mat Voleido Well-Known Member

    I know exactly what you mean by "I thought she was my soulmate".

    I really did, and I think I did for the long time... Those feelings... They almost never leave you. It's hard, and the first hurdle is one of the toughest to get over. But trust me, I used to think I was pretty weak, and to be honest, I never thought I would survive and live to smile again. But hey, here I am.

    If you need to talk, I'm here for you. This really hits home for me. If you want to open up or talk even just a little, just talk. I'll reply.
     
  4. forlorn

    forlorn Staff Alumni

    Its the way I am. I didnt do anything wrong. My best is never good enough. Im repulsive after a while.
     
  5. Mat Voleido

    Mat Voleido Well-Known Member

    I know it definately feels that way right now. I'm being 100% honest with you when I say I used to think the exact same thing.

    When I saw her go for other guys, date another guy. Despite everything she told me, and some of it is even on SuicideForum. I felt like such a repulsive asshole, like no one could love me. I was always there, she was always on my mind, I did everything I possibly could, and she goes for someone who cared for her way less than I did.

    It's a shitty situation to be in, I know. It's hard to get over, especially when you're so... sure, so sure that she is on the one. The only one who could reach in and touch your soul.

    But try and believe when I say not everyone you meet is that person... It's hard to believe now, and it might be for awhile, but you're going to meet someone who recognizes ALL your strengths and will help you with all your weaknesses. Your soul mate should always be there, helping you fill your soul. It all sounds corny and cheesy, but I believe it as well. Keep searching, but don't lock your heart and soul away. Just allow yourself to heal. Does any of this make sense? I'm here if you need to vent or shoot any ideas off.
     
  6. forlorn

    forlorn Staff Alumni

    Thanks Mat, I keep running form one person to the next telling them my woes. Its hard to keep going through it. Im sorry you went through the same thing. Its nice to know your there if I need you. :)
     
  7. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Just letting you know that I'm here if you want to talk.
     
  8. Mat Voleido

    Mat Voleido Well-Known Member

    I know how hard it can be :(

    I hope you manage in the coming days. It's hard but just try to stick it through. If you ever want to talk, just send a PM my way :smile:
     
  9. forlorn

    forlorn Staff Alumni

    Thank you all for your kind words.
     
  10. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You deserve support. :hug: I know you're struggling right now, and I hope you'll reach out if you need anything.
     
  11. redemption

    redemption Active Member

    same position you're in atm, I can't let go either, each night is a battle to not text her, I dont know if I can keep it up, can't get through the evenings without alcohol anymore, I can't eat, I can't sleep, havent been this thin since I was 14
     
  12. forlorn

    forlorn Staff Alumni

    Im sorry to hear that, Redemption. Ive lost a lot of weight and just cant face food. Guess we take these things out on ourselves but we are not to blame. It wasnt meant to be, just wish Id seen it sooner.
     
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