I wish I could feel whole again. Oh to be a carefree person. I can't. I live with the shame of having been bullied. I can't fix myself, can't repair my trust in people. I guess this is the road I have to walk: living out a sad lonely life. I can't fight it at least if I accept it there is some peace in that. Nothing is worse than the feelings of desperation and axiety. I must find the courage to end it I think.