no way out

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by _Danii_, Aug 11, 2011.

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  1. _Danii_

    _Danii_ Member

    Basically I'm in a situation where there are definitely only two choices. I'm not happy if I choose the first one and if I choose the second one, well, I'm not happy either. Not happy is a complete understatement actually. I'm completely miserable and suicide seems like the only solution. I'm just sick of feeling like this. Nothing's going to get better... I took the second option and I've been trying for months. I've been on antidepressants and I've really tried but I still feel just as bad and nothing works. Tried the first option again, the one I thought would make me happy, but no. Not properly anyway *sigh* I'm just so fed up. If I had the guts to do anything I would've done it already. I wish I did have the guts.
     
  2. cutiepie132

    cutiepie132 Well-Known Member

    You may feel like you don't have the courage to hurt yourself but it takes more courage to keep on going than it does to do something like that.
     
  3. lkt

    lkt Active Member

    what happened?? tell us about it, just keep your cool take some deep breath and tak it about it
     
  4. _Danii_

    _Danii_ Member

    I've heard that before, but I have been trying to keep going but it's got to that point where I've just realised nothing's going to get better. I hate it when people say that it will. I know they're just trying to be supportive but not everything always gets better.
     
  5. lkt

    lkt Active Member

    it'll not get better, as long as you think like that, one month ago i was in the same situation as you, i think i'm still in, you gotta take your life step by step, trying to foung at least one second of joy, to bear a whole day of suffer, i know is hard, but hang on, even though you don't believe, like is a box of surprises, try to see the good side of life and cheer off a little
     
  6. _Danii_

    _Danii_ Member

    Well I feel pretty stupid by saying its to do with a guy. I'm not some stupid kid and I do know what I'm talking about. I'm not the over-dramatic sort. Some people just have the ability to fuck up your life beyond repair. I'm not completely happy when I'm with him... he does so many things that just completely devastate me but in the months since we broke up I've been doing everything possible to try and get better yet I still end up just lying in bed crying and feeling completely hopeless. I had to drop out of college, I was put on anti-depressants, I can't work... every part of my life has gone to shit basically.
     
  7. _Danii_

    _Danii_ Member

    I've not been thinking like that though, that's the thing. I've been trying so hard to make things better but none of its worked. I'm out of ideas.
     
  8. cutiepie132

    cutiepie132 Well-Known Member

    Well I know how you feel. And it hurts me to see people want to give up on here over issues in their life that can be changed. I wish the things going on in my life, that I had any choice with whatsover. No, all problems don't have solutions, but ... you may feel like there isn't one because your depressed, it may be blindsighting you to seeing that, and if you open up, maybe we can help.
     
  9. lkt

    lkt Active Member

    first of all you need to breath a little, try to calm yourself just a bit in Brazil we got to say that every shit you make in your life is the fertilizer of your life, so even if you messed up you can't be down because of it,

    there are a lot of people who care about you (even if you don't believe on what i'm saying) try to talk about it with your family or with someone you can trust

    i've also had depression, sometimes is really painful, i know, just relax, even if just for a second, you said you're out of ideas, but just coming here to try to find help is an idea am i right? so even if it seems painful you can talk to us here, we'll understand what you are feeling right now
     
  10. cutiepie132

    cutiepie132 Well-Known Member

    Well I have tried to kill myself over someone. I let a guy rape me twice to protect him from being hurt. He doesn't even know how I feel, and he never will. I had to give up on any aspect of having a relationship with any man, because of how strong my feelings were for this one. I didn't think I could go on, and I didn't think that would ever get any better. But it did. It takes time, sometimes it takes along time, but it really can get easier. I know your wishing it could be that way now. I understand why.
     
  11. _Danii_

    _Danii_ Member

    Well I don't know how much more time I can really deal with giving it.

    And I have tried to talk to my mum but that's not been helpful at all. I know there are people that care about me, but that doesn't take away the complete hopelessness of everything else. I'm not trying to be completely negative on purpose here. I appreciate the support but I just don't see how things will get better. There are plenty of things I'm trying to do to make that happen but every single one's failing. Everything that cheers me up a bit is just temporary.
     
  12. lkt

    lkt Active Member

    i sen you a long PM, read it, try to ovecome the hardships of life
     
  13. lostinca

    lostinca Well-Known Member

    I couldnt have said it any better.
     
  14. cutiepie132

    cutiepie132 Well-Known Member

    Have you talked to this guy to tell him how you feel? Do you think there is there any chance in repairing the relationship? Your just months into the breakup, things like that take time to get through. I know I went at least 6 years feeling suicidal over the person I was talking about. Seeing him here and there didn't help and I kept putting myself in that situation, I just kept hurting myself. I never tried to let go. I thought it would undoubtedly make me want to die, but the insane part of that, is that I was already feeling that way. I just knew that would be like my last straw. Couldn't even stand the thoughts of trying. That's one issue I had my therapist couldn't get anywhere with me on. He said maybe it was best if I didn't try dealing with it, and just suppress my feelings, and do my best to pretend it didn't hurt me like it did. When I look back on all of that, I would never had dreamed there would be anyway possible that I would get over feeling so depressed over this man. I still love him as much as I have from day one, think about him constantly, but I rarely cry about it anymore, and I know it just wasn't meant to be.
     
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