I don't know whats happening. I don't know if it is just me and my paranoia, or if it is real. I cant seem to see it clearly enough to know. But I am feeling more and more that I have no where to turn. friends of mine are avoiding me now. have i really whined that much? I just don't know. I've tried to support others when i could, and even sometimes when i couldn't. I am running out of options, and the next one is death. right now the only thing that keeps me from it is the thought that maybe it will be better. but it never gets better, and who am i kidding, it never will. the emotional scars i have from my past are just too much. i cant deal with it anymore.