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no where to turn

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by blackwidowweb, Feb 16, 2009.

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  1. blackwidowweb

    blackwidowweb New Member

    So my life has fallen apart and I have no idea how to fix things,

    I moved to Netherlands from Birmingham June last year because my fiance slept with my best friend and I thought a fresh start would help us to get over things and move on..

    Well now I have lost my job due to ill health and my fiance has ditched me for someone at work and he has given me two weeks to move out.

    I've been desperate to come back to the uk because i have been terribly homesick, but I have no money and no where to live, i dont even know if I'd be entitled to benefits (I've never been on benefit before)

    I have a son who is 10 and I am so scared that this time next week we'll be living on the streets.

    I've asked all my friends but no one can help, they have either lost their jobs or have had to move back in with parents. My parents have not spoken to me for 10 years now so asking them for help is not an option.

    I have no idea what to do and last night i was lying awake in bed unable to sleep and the only thing going round and round in my head was if i stepped infront of a train it would all be over and now i cant get that thought out of my head.

    I just cant see a solution and no one I have talked to has one either :(
  2. Roly

    Roly Member

    heya *hugs*
    sounds asthough things have gotten pretty tough for you
    could you explain to your fiance that you need a bit more time to sort out alternative accomodation?
    im sorry i dont have much advice, please keep yourself safe, you've got your son to think of
    im always around if you want a chat
  3. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    :welcome: to SF! You are facing some rough stuff - I'm sorry to hear that. I'm glad to see you on the forum.

    I'm in North America, and I've no clue how things work where you are. However, before you conclude you are not eligible for benefits, contact/go to the government offices that deal with giving the benefits to see where you stand on that.

    Also, I wonder if there are any emergency shelters of some sort that you and your son could utilize on a temporary basis until you land back on your feet.

    Take care of yourself and your feelings through all of this. You'll find a lot of supportive people here.
  4. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    welcome x

    i am so sorry that you are having such a rough time of it but i hope us here can help you through things :hug:
  5. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hi. i am glad you came to s.f. .. but i am so sorry for your situation. it is not hopeless though - there are always solutions.

    2 weeks is not reasonable.....please ask for more time. one more thing, i'm a parent, and i would always want to reconcile with my child. it is never too late. you don't lose anything, by at least trying to talk with your parents. you could even send them a letter - that explains you need some help. for sure. please try to contact them. . . .

    there should be social services available to you - considering your circumstance. look in your phone book - here it would be our '''white pages'''' for government agencies.... (((People here on s.f. that are IN your part of the world could be of some help in knowing WHERE to look...so check out some of those people, hun, and private message them, , )))

    you must take care of yourself.....if you end your life your son will be all alone. that will damage his life, irreparably. he needs you - all of his life. so let's move beyond that as one of the choices.....please. if only for him. he is worth it - but - i believe YOU are worth it too!

    pm if you want to talk about this, anytime hun. please let us know what you find out re: contacting your parents, asking for more time before having to move, and social services in your area. . . . hugs
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    welcome to sf :) :hug:
  7. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF.

    Ask your EX for more time. Also keep pressing, hopefully someone can help you out.
  8. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF :hug:.

    Sorry to hear you are going through such a crap time right now.

    If you did come back to the UK I think (but not 100%) that you would be entitled to Income Support & Tax Credits for your son.

    You'd think given the circumstances & location your ex would be a little bit more compassionate, even for the sake of your son.

    Take care & keep us posted, Claire xx
  9. kenny

    kenny Well-Known Member

    Hi, Welcome to SF

    I'm going to recommend something that's a bit drastic. I'm assuming you are still a full UK citizen.

    If you genuinely have nowhere to go, the easiest thing to do is to present yourself at a police station and declare yourself homeless.

    An officer from the social work team will come and meet you and you should, after explaining your circumstances be able to get put in emergency accomodation for the night. the next thing you have to do is to fill in a housing benefit application in order to cover the costs of your accommodation while you're in temporary accomodation. you would normally be placed on the waitinglist for council accommodation.

    That's just the basics, hope its of some use.

    Best wishes
  10. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum. i wish I had some advice for you, but i do not know how the system in the UK works. I will keep you in my thoughts and hope you find some answers from the members here that may be familiar with your system. :hug:
  11. Starlite

    Starlite Senior Member

    welcome to SF
  12. blackwidowweb

    blackwidowweb New Member

    Thats the problem i don't know if i am still classed as a uk citizen being that I have been out the country for 6mths... Other than the past 6mths I have lived in Uk all my life and worked all that time too... I don't really know where I stand.
  13. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Are you still out of the UK right now? If yes, you could contact the UK embassy in the country you are in and talk to them. If it turns out you're still a UK citizen, then you can ask what the next steps ought to be.

    If you are no longer a UK citizen, I would think they'd still be able to "direct" you to the right part of the local national government in the country you're in so you can look in to your status there for benefits.

    This obviously a rough time for you right now. It might be best to check on your citizenship status before you use a lot of energy on panic and worry (that might well be unnecessary). All the best of luck!

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