no words

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by darling_deedee, Mar 12, 2011.

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  1. I don't have words for what I feel tonight.
    I've had to do some very difficult things in the last few weeks mostly about ratting out child abuse. I know I did the right thing but it has such wide-reaching consequences. I keep telling myself that calling Child Welfare was right but right now I wonder if reporting the abuse was worth the destruction that the investigation into their family has caused. So many close friendships have suffered irreparable damage. They still don't know it was me. They keep blaming people who have no connection to me or my complaint. I made two accusations but there's a dozen others that other people have made since then. But they figure it was all made by one horrible person. They believe that Satan is persecuting them. Its just so screwed up. I did the right thing, didn't I? It was right to put the welfare of the kids ahead of all the adult relationships... I know that. But tonight I'm plagued by self-doubt.
    I'm teetering on the edge of not being able to cope. My old way of coping was to cut myself and that's looking awfully appealing right now.
  2. solutions

    solutions Well-Known Member

    All the adult relationships that matter will survive just fine. And you've saved the children from further abuse. I don't see what could possibly be immoral about that act.
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    You are right that difficult choices may come with difficult conditions, but you truly did the right thing and should feel proud of yourself for that...sounds like the ppl you reported have real pathologies....those kids should feel so glad they have you in their lives...J
  4. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    hey hooray for you! :stars: :stars: :stars:

    I don't know the details about what happened, but if you saved kids from being abused I think that you did a wonderful thing!

    Do you want to talk about what happened?

    Hopefully the parents will get some treatment and change their ways.

    You really were heroic, I think. I think most people don't have the guts to get involved in something like that.

    I think that you deserve to have totally awesome wonderful things happen in your life because you are so awesome!

    :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
  5. Thanks for your encouragement guys.

    Unfortunately only half of the children in the home were removed... the other half have been convinced that someone is out to get their family. That someone is in league with the devil. Its just not right.

    I know deep down that I did the right thing but people who have no connection to my report are being blamed and the entire staff that works for this family is being fired. So many people are suffering because I did the 'right' thing.

    And the hardest part is that the children I made the report about are still in the home. They weren't even removed.

    I can only trust in the child welfare system and the social workers I've spoken with... so difficult.

    Still having a hard time coping. Haven't cut myself... but last night was dark and my thoughts went to taking my own life. I know that that wouldn't solve anything but would only break my family's hearts... but I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel right now.

  6. catecholamine

    catecholamine Well-Known Member

    The right thing isn't always easy, and sometimes there is collateral damage. It can't be helped. It had to be done. People can find new jobs, but the children can't get a new childhood.
    Your only intended action was to help the children. The other things that happened are not your's the family's fault for reacting the way they did. It's simply not your fault.

    Besides, you're only human. It's not like you could see the future.
  7. Cate,
    You're right...
    I never intended the collateral damage... that people would be fired, that everyone would be blamed. That the children would be led to believe that its the forces of evil at work really bothers me. I know there's nothing I can do about that, though. It just makes me profoundly sad.
    "Profoundly sad" seems to be the way my days are lately.
  8. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    It sounds to me like you did the best thing that you could have done in that situation.

    At least now, they are on the radar for child welfare

    You've done something really good here I think.

    There isn't praise high enough that I could give you.

    Please take good care of yourself now, you deserve to be happy.

    :hug: :hug: :hug:
  9. Thanks guys. Just wanted to say that I appreciate all the support in this upsetting time... I still feel terrible but deep down I know that I'm not to blame for the destruction in this family - its the parents who abuse and manipulate their children who are at fault.
    I've been trying to be good to myself. Have downloaded a new album and baked up some delicious things. I still feel hallow inside but I'm doing better.
    Merci Bien,
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