No zest for life

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Dumboy, Aug 26, 2015.

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  1. Dumboy

    Dumboy New Member

    As I said I have no zest for life anymore. I've always been an introvert and luckily I live on the countryside (cities makes me really super anxious).

    But this hasn't been a problem until now. Even though I'm not the social type I've never had any problems making friends. But now everything's much more complex. Now it feels like I'm better at making enemies than friends.
    I think it's the results of my insecurities.

    I think I look completely hideous. Can't look at mirrors without freaking out, it ruins my whole day. My ears stick out and makes me look in my opinion weird.

    The thing that drives me crazy is that both my mother, father, brother and my sister have average non protruding ears. So why did I get them?

    I know that I can do otoplasty. But it doesn't change genes. It feels selfish to my children in the future. They'll be in the same position as me right now. How will my future wife react to it as well?

    I don't want to pass my horrible genes so I've always stayed away from lots of girls even though they show interest. In fact it's when they show interest I back away. Basically I'm a celibat but I've also considered ending my life after school when I move out or when my parents and siblings get older.

    Do you have any ideas of what I can do? Should I consider otoplasty regardless of my thoughts? It will maybe make me happier in short term.

    Thanks in advance!
     
  2. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    What is it that causes you to back off and isolate yourself when people show a genuine interest in you and getting to know you? They obviously see you as worthy of their time otherwise they wouldn't show interest in you despite what you believe about yourself? I doubt very much that surgery to correct your ears will get rid of your insecurities. Sure, it may help you change your thoughts about how your ears look, but those insecurities will shift onto another aspect of yourself unless you deal with them and the causes for them. I would probably suggest looking into getting some therapy to look at what your insecurities are and do some digging into your past to understand where they come from and why you behave and feel the way you do. Once you establish that, you can look at changing your thought process and behaviour. It is very hard work, but it will be worth it in the end.
     
  3. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Only you are your own worst critic, not anybody else.

    Most people has a part of their body they don't like or is not happy with. Have you talked to a Therapist about your confidence in yourself? Maybe building that strength would make you smile with confidence.

    Just FYI we have big ears in my family and I have tiny-small ones compared to Theirs. It's not a big deal for us as we are used to it. Big Ears are not a deformity, trust me. There's alot famous people with huge ears
     
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