nobody is taking me serious

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by chrism67, Apr 8, 2012.

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  1. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    I have a plan. Im ready to go. Ive called a hospital for help and am left standing in limbo. My therapist wanted me to call yesterday and sti hasnt noticed that i havent called him. Im visiting the place where its going to happen and im bringing blades. My letters are on my phone to be sent when the time is right. But it seems like nobody even cares.
  2. onlysadsongs

    onlysadsongs New Member

  3. truthhurts

    truthhurts Well-Known Member

    people often don't rly kno how to express that they care, just to tell u. i also thought that the people around me don't rly 'deeply' care for me anyway, and that me being gone wud not rly hurt them, but later i realized that it was just me being 'blinded' by my depression, not that nobody cares at all. People care. End of story sort of lol. Sometimes people are just careless, don't realize that u seriously need help, or try to look away because it's hard for them to believe that ur self-view is destructive.

    Im not sure how helpful all this is to u but, people aren't perfect, they don't always kno how to deal with something they're not used to or don't understand. That might even apply to professionals sometimes.

    I hope u'll think things through again, i kno u're in pain, that's obvious, and i do think it's a serious issue that needs to be dealt with. Please don't give up on yourself. If the first person u confide in doesn't help u, go find another. If that person doesn't help u, go find someone else.

    It does get better, even if right now u think it might never ever get better.

    People care, even here on this forum. If u ever need to talk, even i am here for that if u need me.

    - best wishes from Eijisama~
  4. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Sorry that people haven't taken you seriously...I know you are serious and hope you don't do it. You can talk to me if you need someone to talk to. I'll always be here to listen.
  5. You don't really want to do it (to end yur life). If you did you would just do it. You wouldn't leave a note. You wouldn't call anyone. You wouldn't have done any of the things that you did do when you felt like you were at the point that you were at when you thought you were ready to end your own life - so don't end yur own life.

  6. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    What do i have to prove it to you.
  7. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    What's wrong?
  8. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    I needed to find a place for my kids. And to leave things in pretty good order. I think i have things right. So now i can rest. So for those who are second guessing me. Everything is ok now.
  9. truthhurts

    truthhurts Well-Known Member

    I do believe u're serious, tho there will likely always be people who think u're not. A couple of months ago i read some statistics. Around 40 percent of people who have succeeded in committing suicide hav contacted mental health professionals about it (from a study in europe). So that means that if people talk about it, they're not any less likely to actually do it. The ones who do not contact anyone, are usually people who kill themselves on a "spur of the moment", meaning spontaneously not pre-meditated.

    And, a person doesn't even need to 'want' to kill themselves to go through with it. I didnt really ever 'want' to kill myself, i more like felt i 'had to'.

    I hope that u're not gonna do it though, it requires a lot of strength not to do it when u're feeling such a strong need for it. Just to tell u, u're not in any way weak if u're not going to kill urself, it takes strength to live on with the pain, but it's damn worth it.

    We're all here to talk to u shall u need us, hang in there.

  10. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    They are finally getting it. Im getting new symptoms wvery day. Im at rock bottom. I have no hope. Im a burden to everyone around me. Ive been driving reckless, im cutting. Im i believe dissociating quite frequently.I have notes for people in my phone to be sent at the
    end. Ive visited where its going to happen and i brought blades with me just in case. Tomorrow im tieing up loose ends. My kids have somewhere to go. After tomorrow everything is set.
  11. aussiegal

    aussiegal Well-Known Member

    Please hold on. Hold on for your kids sake. You dont need to prove to anyone that you are serious. You need to get some help. If one person isn't listening... go to someone else. But hold on. Your kids need you. The world needs you. You need you!
  12. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Or you could make the arrangements to see a BPD/DBT specialist. Why are you at rock bottom?
  13. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    Ive had so many major life chamges go on in the last several months. I just dont think any of this is going to change anything. I think im just beyond hope. The only specialists for dbt and inpatient units are hours away.
  14. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    What major life changes?

    I have BPD too, and I see a general therapist/psychiatrist and attend alanon/naranon meetings for my problems. I would do a DBT specialist but I don't have the money to afford one. My insurance won't cover it. But if you drive and you can afford a DBT specialist, I would suggest to go anyway, I think it's be worth the time and effort, considering they have experience treating people with BPD better than other doctors. But if you can't make it there or don't have the money, have you tried seeing general therapists/psychiatrists like I do?
  15. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    Thats it im done. Theres no use.
  16. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Before you give up, why don't you answer my question? I'm going through the same issues with BPD as you are and I'm starting to try to find some help, and trying to help you do the same.
  17. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    My husband started doing drugs. He lost his job. I had to have him removed from the house and got a pfa against him. Im going through a foreclosure. I need to move and my husband is starting to come back in my life. This is over 8-9 all overwhelmed.
  18. MisterBGone


    I'm terribly sorry to hear of your troubles, but this won't fix any of your problems, there's got to be another more productive, positive solution for you and your family. What if you took suicide off the table? Erased the notes in your phone? Disposed of the blades? Your condition will keep you from seeing things clearly, objectively, as they truly are, in reality. That's what the sickness does best: cloud your judgement so that you can stay sick; and it can stick around (your illness). I think you need some help in getting some professional help. Do you have someone--friends or family--who could assist you in getting to the hospital? Otherwise just call 911. And they can take good care of you. What have you got to lose? Is it not worth the risk? Okay, I'll shut up now.... But you do have my best!
  19. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    When i saw my therapist today he made me agree to a safety plan. One being getting rid of all of my blades and not to visit the path where i plan for it to all happen. I made a commitment to him but i cant do it. He told me to call him for anything. But i cant do that either. He already told me he wants me admitted.i dont want to.
  20. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Just so it's stated, my fiancé is a heroin addict as well, and I have just recently begun to deal with that particular aspect of my problems. So I know how you feel there, too. I think that if you don't want to see a BPD/DBT specialist and consider intensive outpatient, then inpatient would probably be the best alternative. But if you do neither, you won't stop hurting.
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