Well this is my first time on this forum. It is a last resort really as I don't know where else to turn to. I have tried everywhere else to seek help but nobody cares enough to make me see that life is worth it.
I am a seventeen year old girl living in England. Some would said that my childhood was okay but I say it was horrendous. I was abused at a young age and when I finally told people what was going on it torn my family apart. I was bullied for seven years of my school life which forces me to not trust people and get upset by the smallest things. My grandfather died six years ago and I miss him every day. The thing that makes it worse is that I never got to see him but he would send me and my siblings £2 (all he could afford!) at Christmas. That showed me love.
Last year I was diagnosed with Depression. Since then I have had many thoughts of suicide and I have self harmed quite a bit. I also made myself sick and stopped eating a few times because I cannot stand the person I am.
Recently my feelings of suicide are becoming stronger and there is nobody I can talk to about them. I have nearly lost my friends once and I don't want that to happen again. They have hurt me so much but I cannot tell them because they will think I am 'being silly'. I feel like I don't belong with them anymore, they don't accept me for who I am. They see the pain I am in and don't bother to ask if I am okay or ask me to tell them why. I am often left alone while they go out together and have their own private jokes etc etc.
I don't know what else to do. I have all these feelings inside that are waiting to get out but there is nowhere to send them. I am thinking my last resort is suicide. I am screaming inside and nobody knows or cares. I ask for help and I don't get it. What am I supposed to do? When will enough be enough?
I am a seventeen year old girl living in England. Some would said that my childhood was okay but I say it was horrendous. I was abused at a young age and when I finally told people what was going on it torn my family apart. I was bullied for seven years of my school life which forces me to not trust people and get upset by the smallest things. My grandfather died six years ago and I miss him every day. The thing that makes it worse is that I never got to see him but he would send me and my siblings £2 (all he could afford!) at Christmas. That showed me love.
Last year I was diagnosed with Depression. Since then I have had many thoughts of suicide and I have self harmed quite a bit. I also made myself sick and stopped eating a few times because I cannot stand the person I am.
Recently my feelings of suicide are becoming stronger and there is nobody I can talk to about them. I have nearly lost my friends once and I don't want that to happen again. They have hurt me so much but I cannot tell them because they will think I am 'being silly'. I feel like I don't belong with them anymore, they don't accept me for who I am. They see the pain I am in and don't bother to ask if I am okay or ask me to tell them why. I am often left alone while they go out together and have their own private jokes etc etc.
I don't know what else to do. I have all these feelings inside that are waiting to get out but there is nowhere to send them. I am thinking my last resort is suicide. I am screaming inside and nobody knows or cares. I ask for help and I don't get it. What am I supposed to do? When will enough be enough?
