Why is this? I used to post here a long time ago when I was truly on the brink. A lot of things in my life have improved, but this one definitely has not. I have a few close friends that I try to talk to on a regular basis. Usually it involves them telling me problems they have and me just listening and offering what advice I can. You know, like all friendships. But, inevitably, I come to these people needing advice or just someone to listen, and their demeanor changes inexplicably. Like, for example, one friend who tells me she can only talk to me during certain times of the day because of her boyfriend. And when I am able to talk to her and start a conversation about me, she always tags on what I say and tries to make the conversation about her. Or another friend who I can also rarely talk to and hang out with because of her boyfriend (who is a kleptomaniac drug addict that she allows to control her whole life). I talked to her recently for advice about a girl I was interested in, and at the time she was eager to help. I talked to her about it again the next day and she basically just flat out insulted me, totally unprovoked. These are just two examples of a large problem that has affected me for my entire life: the people I call my friends have no qualms about coming to me with their problems, and I'm always willing to help them, but they shy away from me when I call on their help. And it just makes me feel awkward about going to anyone and asking for help. Which leads me to just keep everything inside and try to deal with everything on my own, and ignore the things I can't fix myself. But nobody should have to go through life alone with no help. To avoid rambling on I'll just end this post here.