non-suicidal people are very uncomfortable talking about suicidal feelings

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by StevenSiew, Oct 31, 2010.

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  1. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member

    Have you noticed that non-suicidal people are very uncomfortable talking about depression and suicidal feelings. It's almost as if they do not understand what you are talking about. Maybe it is because only unpopular people (ie. people no one wants to talk to in the first place) talks about these things. Maybe they are afraid of learning what it is like to be suicidal. If you talk to them about it, they quickly want you to stop thinking about it and change the subject. "Just do something that is fun!" they answered.

    Tell me about your experiences talking to non-suicidal people about your depression or suicidal thoughts.
     
  2. XsweetpoetX

    XsweetpoetX Well-Known Member

    Im told how I feel is stupid by those I care and love about it almost on a daily basis. Because they can not understand and dont want to understand. They think feeling suicidal is something you can just make go away,and you cant. It is also something that probably scares them. Death is scary to alot of people. They cant imagine someone taking their own life.
     
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I was telling the old lady next door that my son had killed himself..
    her first question.."Why would he do that?"..I said there was a girl involved amongst other things...
    She said in a cheery voice "oh you don't worry about things like that ..you just get over it and on with life"
    I said "it's an illness" and walked away..

    No people don't understand or want to talk about it...

    after my sons funeral no-one bothers to talk to me at all let alone about his suicide..
    they alll disappeared like a puff of smoke..
     
  4. Tonks

    Tonks Active Member

    That is why I only talk about them with someone I know who is biopolar and has experience with them. He is very stable now, but in his childhood when he wasn't given any help, he attempted quite a few times. He knows what goes on in a person's head when they are in that much pain that it seems like death is the only way out.
     
  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I think we also have to look at the nature of what you are talking about...people do not know what to say to "make it better" and feel impotent in the face of such difficult talk...this is especially true for ppl who care about the person who is talking about this...J
     
  6. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    If the others knew about all the depression and suicidal thoughts, they'd probly call me 'emo' and tell me to "cheer up!"....all that shit...

    I've never told anyone about this face to face, and only hearing and seeing others experiences when it happens. At this point in time no one would really understand me, not that I would expect them to.
     
  7. Lexicon

    Lexicon Well-Known Member

    Yep, my fear that nobody would understand prevents me from doing anything or saying anything to anybody. It's why the most vulnerable people are the least likely to ask for help.
     
  8. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

    We must not resent those people who have that reaction. Depression is an irrational disease leading to irrational decisions. If the people with depression cannot understand and explain it, what chance have those without it?
     
  9. lonercarrot

    lonercarrot Well-Known Member

    Even people who say they are suicidal or mentally ill seem to not want to talk to me about those things
     
  10. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    Somehow, I get the feeling that there are not a lot of people out there who are totally non-suicidal. They may say they have never thought of or attempted suicide, but they may have stubborn habits like smoking or drinking or serial-killing to push them to the edge.
     
  11. Mayuna

    Mayuna Member

    It's sad but that is what happens after a tragedy. Everyone is very supportive at the time to make themselves feel better but when it's all said and done all you have left is yourself. People don't understand that it is an illness. It isn't something that we can just shut off, I've known this since I was ten and all I wanted to do was go to sleep and not wake up.

    I am very sorry for your loss. It's because of people like you that I realize I can't be so selfish for the people that I would leave behind, for the people that life would have to go on for with out me there.
     
  12. foreverforgotten

    foreverforgotten Well-Known Member

    I had a very good friend who killed herself.
    she was like a real mother to me.
    she was my mothers friend too.
    after the funeral..mom never called her family to talk
    anymore..she said at the funeral shed always be there for
    her family. but it was a lie. and I hope she feels guilty about it.
    becuase shes full of shit. why do people do this?
     
  13. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    people don't know how to simply be real with one another
    spend their time staring at their own shoe laces instead of looking into the eye of their fellow man with a caring heart.
    they forget or lose their humanity
    compassion seems to get misplaced
    were we all to get down to the basics, the heart level with each other, perhaps we could extend a hand to those who suffer but ppl seem to have some sort of defense up...whatever

    i have seen, felt, witnessed, firsthand the intense pain, suffering, agony, isolation caused by those claiming to be Christians who do not understand their own holy book/haven't properly read it. I've heard some gawd awful things and watched/experienced/witnessed horrendous suffering due to cruel words such as, "forget about this person (family member/friend) they are now burning in hell"....hard on the ears of an impressionable 14 year old, hard on the ears of a parent who just lost a son. Strangled the 14 year olds voice...he still can't utter a word and he witnessed it. Screwed his ability to heal. Silenced him...locked it up inside of him and threw away the freaking key. FUCK THEM ALL!!! Sorry, my compassion and understanding is waning at the moment due to intense physical and emotional pain.

    **hugs** for all who have lost someone. I understand and you have my heart. xxxx
     
  14. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    most people don't want to deal with complex issues and feeling suicidal is anything but simple

    all to often the response is "well just do..."

    they don't want to believe that "just" doesn't cut it and don't want to spend the mental energy trying to go deeper to help

    if they're close to you, perhaps they are secretly afraid that if they dig too deeply they may discover that they have something to do with the problem and don't want to accept the responsibility or face the guilt

    i don't know, just guessing here

    if i had the answers i could unravel my own issues
     
  15. Akita

    Akita Well-Known Member

    I've tried to tell a few people. They either ignored me or immediately changed the subject. They don't care...
     
  16. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    I haven't had the chance to talk to someone who has never felt suicidal before. Most people I know understand to a degree.

    There are plenty of people out there who refuse to talk about anything 'bad' though-- and pretend it just doesn't happen in real life.
    People in denial and people who prefer not to 'get into it' because they wouldn't be able to handle it.
     
  17. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i have great friends. they are kind and compassionate. they understand and really listen when i am feeling suicidal. if it's really rough they have taken me to the hospital and stayed with me in the ER while i am waiting to see the psychiatrist on call. i feel that they have kept me alive in those dark times when i can't seem to find a reason to go on. i never regret talking to them. as a group we have experienced several deaths by suicide in our circle of friends and so we know how serious it can be. we are there for each other.

    my family is a different story. my sister pretends that everything is fine and that a positive attitude is all that i need to turn my life around. my dad is in total denial about my mental health issues. i am learning to not turn to them when i am low. it's a self-preservation thing.
     
  18. Keiran

    Keiran Well-Known Member

    Kinda realizing this now, but I've only told probably two people about my feelings. One was kinda "uncomfortable" talking about it, as the OP described it. And the other one, whenever I got down, she wanted me to talk to her, she told me herself. She understood me. She obviously had no problem talking about it, and she knew exactly what to say to make me feel better at the time. Lo and behold, not to long ago I found out that she tried to commit suicide.

    And there's one other person that I told indirectly. It was through facebook comments and I said enough for it to be understood without directly stating it. I didn't mean for it to be understood, nor did I mean for it not be understood. It just happened that he figured it out, and well, he happened to be the same.
     
  19. Dude111

    Dude111 Well-Known Member

    Yes and im sure this site gets ALOT OF MEAN PEOPLE SIGNING UP JUST TO HURT PEOPLE WHO FEEL LIKE THIS AND ITS SAD....

    We all need to be there for each other,WE COULD BE FEELING THAT WAY SOMETIME AND WOULD LIKE OTHERS THERE FOR US ALSO :)
     
  20. poisonedresistance

    poisonedresistance Well-Known Member

    1- My doctor, told me a needed a councilor
    2-councilor told me she couldnt deal with me
    3- My mum just changed the subject
    4- My friend told me i was sick and then didnt call for two months
    5-the bloke who stitched my wrists told me to change my life and turned on greendday i walk alone
     
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